Talkback: How to deal with ‘desk rage’

I think desk rage that escalates into yelling and over the top anger needs to be dealt with for what it is: insubordination, deviciveness and outright immaturity.

Anybody who cannot control their temper needs to be terminated. Extreme anger in the workplace is frightening…who knows what other negative behavior the person is capable of.

Completely agree that these “desk rage” management skills apply in various situations. I recently encountered the most unbelievable customer service experience purchasing a new phone. The sales rep drops the brand new phone on the ground, then he continued to try and sell it to me even after I refused to purchase it. He subsequently started vigorously shaking the phone trying to convince me the box it was in provided all the protection needed. I could not believe how outrageous of a situation to find myself in. I then get home and my service is suspended, so I return the next day and complain to the store manager who is just as, quite honestly, incompetent, as the sales rep.

Regarding the techniques in the article, after having a heated argument with the manager, I realized its best to simply leave and report the manager and sales rep’s actions to their superiors.

The difficult part is just trying to remind yourself that dealing with real incompetent people is a needed skill and an eventuality in life. And when it happens, not to blame yourself for their ridiculous ways.

Good advice.

A few years ago I learned that yelling back never helps, it only escalates the situation. Seems common sense but while I am a calm person, I am quite “passionate”. So when a client called me and just went off on me out of the blue, I was calm and collected until about 10 seconds into it and then I just couldn’t take it. So I lashed back. As a result I lost a client and got chest pains. My dad advised me that the next time it happens, just calmly tell the person that I’m going to hang up and that when they can talk in a calm and rational manner, to call back.

It’s hard to stay calm and not take it personally – especially when their attacking you personally – but it’s definitely the best way to deal with it.

I had co-worker desk rage recently and it happens every time my manager is out of the office as she feels she needs to “control” the other workers. This co-worker and I have been here for 20 years and we do know each other, but she was so rude by someone showing her a new way of processing 1 item of work that she was asked to be nice twice by the person trying to show her something new and much easier. After that, the “problem” person then proceeded to wonder who’s doing what, why they are not working there specific items This was not her place as a “go to” for that day. She did this the day before. I myself told her to cool it and said that everyone knows what they have to do as far as there own work responsibilities and the manager already had set the goals before she left. I said you are so worried about what others are doing that you are avoiding the processing of your own work, not to mention mine with the constant interuption of complaining and that you are creating more stress for everyone. I also stated that since we are moving to another side of the building this weekend, we are having to pack our desks. I said in the end that the work will still be there.
MMMM, funny, I had applause from 2 other co-workers because I did this and that this was done in a professional manner.

I admit it: I’ve had desk rage and had a single incident. At the time, my managers used to suggestions in this article to defuse the situation. However, several months later (and with no other such incidents), the managers used my review to completely beat me up over the situation and to demote me. I raised concerns to our department manager, who blew me off with the “if you can’t stand the heat…” statement. Since that time, I’ve felt so demoralized. My advice: understand that desk rage, unless its a repeated thing, is not proof that you have an incompetent boob on your hands. If it happens once, defuse the situation and let it go.