Roadtrip to China: 8 rules to work and play

As an ex-pat who has traveled internationally for over 20 years, I’ve experienced first hand the need to understand local customs. An interesting point is the so called ugly American has grown up quite a bit. While local customs haven’t changed very much in many parts of the world, the constant influx of immigrants who bring their culture with them, has made an impact on the US. In a US where schools in the mid-west have students from multiple ethnic cultures, our children are more sophisticated than just 20 year ago. While I think some baby boomers still suffer from a superiority complex, most Americans traveling “have gotten the message”.

Having had multiple trips to Asia, I agree with a number of the points made. What I find interesting is the roles seem to have reversed. Working in NYC, I come in constant contact with Chinese visitors who lack understanding of Western customs. Could it be that the “ugly American” has been replaced by a Chinese counterpart?

It’s easy to excuse Chinese rudeness under the premise that it’s “their culture” and we should adapt. However, Chinese people don’t like these behaviors when they are directed towards them and they become the “victim”. In other words, they know the behavior is wrong. Your explanation allows poor behavior to continue under the guise of cultural norms. Just another dumb stereotype promulgated by dumb Americans. We used to be a great country but we let every one walk all over us just to be nice or politically correct.

Thanks for your blanty lists. I have to agree mostly they are true. Looking at the other side of the Chinese culture, it’s changing quickly and the trendency is becomming more foggy than before. Contriubution to the world would be the world need to reposition themself as the biggest crowdy community is developing.

Often in China it is considered rude to ask a direct question that requires a yes or no answer. There are no words for “yes” or “no” in Chinese - you can put “bu” in front of a verb to say “is not”, “don’t want” etc. but there is no word for “no”, no word for “yes”. So the moral of the story is - ask a question that requires something besides a Yes or No answer. Also they don’t like to tell you that they can’t do something because it is Losing Face. So instead of asking (pushing) for an early delivery date (”can you deliver that shipment next week?” - ask instead “what is the earliest you can ship?” to get a more accurate answer.

I lived in Hong Kong and traveled to factories all over Asia in the 80’s, went back in 2003 at the peak of the SARS epidemic to adopt a daughter, and returned in 2006 on business. I still use the cultural etiquette lessons now with my Chinese friends here in the States… Don’t forget to separate out generalizations about the Chinese people from the Chinese government. There IS a difference. It is one of the most amazing, beautiful, varied, unique, exasperating, historically lush places to visit in the world!

An important business norm is that when business cards are exchanged, they must be accepted with two hands (generally, thumb and index finger of each hand on a corners of the card). It will be handed to you in this way, usually with a slight bow calibrated to the relative social status of the parties — younger bow deeper — and you should accept it in this way with an appropriately calibrated bow, and study it respectfully before putting it in a pocket. To simply take it in one hand and pocket it in the casual manner we are accustomed to in the US is considered disrespectful, particularly if the card was received from someone senior to you.

Also, it’s not unusual for lists of Chinese delegations visiting the US to include, in addition to name and title, the age of each person, with the list typically in order of age, oldest first. Attentiveness to social rank (usually correlated with age) is more formal than in the US.

Bring your own blood. Pray you doing get injured, sick, or have to go to the hospital.

I lived in Shanghai fofr 2.5 years. Eash day when I thought, finally, I’ve heard it all something else would happen. The need for ‘Chops’ on all official documents was mindless. We had a friend with a dog and she had a chop mad that said Dr. Vet and stamped her vacination papers so that the Chinese would accept them. “Saving Face”… I could go on for hours. I think, however, it is the lying that mystifies me. We were told elaborate stories (daily) when the truth would have been just fine. Lies about weather conditions, ammenities in apts, availibitly of goods.. why not say this apt does not have tennis courts or this store does not carry Dr. Pepper. The polluiton is the largest problem in China. The official PRC reporst say it is improving - it is not. The olympic athletes will suffer. Also the non-potable water will be a huge problem. I predict lots of stomach troubles for the athletes and my etched in stone prediciton is that the Chinese will be caught cheating.

Glad to be back in the US. Recommend a vacation in China but not living.

This is an excellent article. It covers the principle points. However, China is the ultimate “capitalist” society. I think they must teach children about marketing and sales skills in elementary school. Also, since 1990, English is mandatory in grades one through twelve–thus, any teenager will be able to communicate with you. Finally, it is a great country, the people are warm, humble, and friendly. If you don’t act like a typical arrogant American you can really enjoy China. Cheers

I’ve been to Beijing, Guangdong and Hong Kong several times. I have to tell you that your blog is very accurate and fairly complete. It is valuable advice to the traveler. Wish I had had these tips before my trips to China.

Also, for those who want to learn the language, it’s important to know that there are actually two main Chinese dialects (many Chinese only speak one or the other) - the Mandarin (referred to as “Poo-tung-hoah” by the locals) and Cantonese. The former is used in the north and the latter in southern China. These dialects share the same written character set but have few, if any, words or phrases in common.

“We’ve all been there: visiting a new country we inadvertently do or say something deemed offensive to locals. At best, we’re embarrassed. At worst, we risk blowing a business deal or offending our hosts.” — Um, at ‘worst’ in some countries you are dead. So, no, a blown business deal would not be the worst thing that could happen for inadvertently doing or saying something deemed offensive to locals.

In many countries, you will not see the standard American level of “customer service” or politeness/deference toward the customer. In the US we expect our cashiers and mechanics and salesmen to act like they’re having a nice day, like they care whether you use their product or service, like they care whether you live or die, etc. But in a lot of other places, they just don’t. So if workers are rude to you while you’re abroad, don’t take it personally — it might be because you’re foreign, but it might be because they treat everybody that way.

Something to remember for anyone traveling to any country with unfamiliar customs:

You DON’T have to LIKE it.
You DO have to PUT UP WITH it.

Conforming to local customs doesn’t mean you actually think they’re all great and the best way to live, or that you’ve forfeited your own identity for someone else’s. It just means you’re being reasonably polite.

One of the weirdest norms I encountered was that in Russia, all stores (except for ones in really touristy areas) expect you to have exact change for your purchase. Cashiers become rather sad or upset or snippy if you don’t have it, and sometimes even say they can’t make the change and stiff you on some of it.

Great summary! Also need to remember that “yes” does not mean “yes” as we westerners know it. I means “I heard you.” Not necessarily I will do what you asked or I understand.

(for working with people in asia, text messaging and instant messaging are a great supplement in getting to understanding.)

While I’ve seen all of these things during my time in China, I don’t agree with the interpretations.

The lack of a “thank you” is caused by the same thing as pushing and cutting in line. Thanks to the Cultural Revolution, there’s an entire generation of Chinese who were not taught basic etiquette and thus they haven’t taught their children.

Not needing proof and arbitrary decision-making is because people lack discipline in decision-making and most of the time only care for their own well-being (ie cutting in line, pushing, etc)

Actually sometimes I feel you need too much “proof” with official stamps in China than in US, due to the lack of a credit report system. In US you just need his credit card. But in China you will need a proof letter from the local police station.

Personal space is different in China as well. Don’t be surprised if you are in an elevator and right on top of each other. In the U.S. we have a personal space thing, but in China there is no such thing. Just a cultural difference. Also, what we deem rude they do not - if you are heavy they will make a comment about looking like a Buddha, or you may become a novelty as well and be stared at. Just be open to their culture and you will love it there.

You failed to mention that China is a COMMUNIST country, and much of what you mentioned is a direct result of that - the community over the individual and all that.

The article is Spot On. I am from India and working in the US, I was surprised to notice that each and every rule you mentioned also applies to Indian culture. So I guess western visitors can assume these rules apply not only to China but most of the Eastern Cultures in general with some minor variations.

By the way…the rule regarding Public display of affection invoked a smile in me; I have never seen my parents even hold hands in my presence forget about hugging and kissing in public!!

I have been in many cities overseas and maybe the biggest problem Americans have is they forget (or may be too stupid) they are in another country. They do as they are raised and not what you feel is correct. You are the visitor!! I was once told in Wales that my children can’t be Americans, they are too polite. They thought my family were Canadians. This is why I especially feel, if a person wishes to be an American, they will learn our language and not make us learn theirs. He who lives in his country is the decider, not the new comer.

If you are flying within China, do not expect priority boarding on airplanes. When we traveled in 2004 for the adoption of our daughter we found out the hard way that it doesn’t matter if you are traveling with children…just get on the plane. The doors of the plane were open (one in front and one in the rear) and when the doors to the shuttle bus opened, there was a swarm to the plane.

Best advice: Get out of everyone’s way and wait for the end of the “line”.

Thursday July 17, 2008

Hey Annie how about forwarding your last few paragraphs to those morons in ottawa who let anyone into our country and bend over backwards to accomodate their every desire. Both the dumb beaurcrats and the new citizens should receive a rap on the head (with a hardwood stick - hardwood mind you)to bging them around to your correct way of thinking IMHO.

Excellent article! I lived in China for a couple of years back in the 90’s, and learned your lessons the hard way. Just a couple of additional thoughts:

You mention that in China the important point is left until the end. In my experience it is very often not mentioned at all. Sometimes what you don’t hear is the most important thing.

Also, when making a request of a colleague or employee, be sure to state that you need to know if the task cannot be completed for any reason. Otherwise you will find that that important component you urgently needed wasn’t ordered because it comes in either red or green, and you didn’t state a preference.

Annei, Thanks I am headed to Shanghai and your advise is golden!

Hey Annie, how much money do you make and are you single and dating?

just kidding.

Thanks for another good piece, yours is one of the better bizpress columns (and I do read quite a few).