Comments on: Beat the mid-career blues

By: Capri,Chennai,India

Capri,Chennai,India — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 09:34:35 +0000

I’m 25 and have been working in the embedded industry for the past 3 yrs. This was the second company after my graduation. Initially I was working with a software company in Chennai, India for 6 months, but quit cause of boredom. I was typing out documents and doing a lot of bull shit work. I was fresh out of college and was enthused to work in some line which had some kind of connection with my course I did in college. I don’t know if you guys get it, but in India right now, everyone gets into a software job (coding in C, C++, Java, mainframe etc) no matter what stream of engineering he/she did. I wanted to be different from my friends. So I searched for a job in electronics and landed up in this embedded field. I was happy for the 1st 2 years. I dint even get time to think whether I was happy / not.

I would get a little bored now and then when I was free, but a new project would start again and I would start doing my work. This went on till I got married. After 6 months of my marriage I started falling sick. Every month I would have some thing going wrong with me – I started taking a lot of leaves. The kind of responsibilities I could take also got limited. Its going to be a yr since I got married this march. Suddenly all of a sudden I feel I can’t take this any more. I don’t want to be in a line which is too technical. I find it hard to prepare for interviews. I was an above average student in my class. Studying dint appeal to me too much. I was more of a – learn on the job kind of gal, as apposed to a lot of my colleagues who diligently go through documents for days before starting off anything. Now all of a sudden I feel this is not the kind of job I want to do for the rest of my life. I would go mad reading technical equations all my life. When some work comes up, I put in a lot of hard work to see it through. I like working hard, but I also like taking care of my home now. I like taking up challenges. When I don’t have work I don’t try to learn / read up something technical. Probably this is where I lose out. But that’s the way I’m. To sum it up: I’ve been one of the best performers in my team, not THE BEST. I want to move. But I don’t know how to find out what I will like doing the best.

Any thoughts?

i know i sound really confused. Thats y i need help ;;)

By: Yadgyu, Harkeyville, TX

Yadgyu, Harkeyville, TX — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 00:15:01 +0000

“I am tired of working for greedy and arrogant bosses who make bad decisions and everyone below suffers. I am thinking about starting my own business, but I have to provide for my family. It’s scary, but I don’t know what else to do.” – Posted By Vince, Los Angeles, CA

I say go for it!

The only thing worse than failing in life is not trying. I would rather see you fall flat on your face and learn something than to go from job to job being miserable.

At some point, you have to throw “safety” to the wind and do something that will give you a shot at a better future. Too many people spend their whole lives working at jobs that they hate and NEVER take a chance at fulfilling their dreams.

Most people that have started their own businesses later in life had families to take care of. You would be surprised to learn what your family could go without if they needed to. What if you and your wife both lost your jobs? You would have to make some major modifications to your lives but you would survive.

I think the best thing to do is to ask some SUCCESSFUL people who have started their own business how they did it and how they became successful. Again, I stress SUCCESSFUL. Do not ask people who are too scared to do anything or those who are bitter about their failures. They will discourage you and make you feel hopeless.

Take action, my friend! You can do it!

By: Vince, Los Angeles, CA

Vince, Los Angeles, CA — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 06:19:19 +0000

I am 45 years old and have been in finance since finishing college almost 20 year ago. I like my job but recently was ousted from a senior level position in a company where the CEO could not run the company profitably and I ended up taking the fall for the outside investors. I have that monkey on my back plus kids and a wife at home to support. I am tired of working for greedy and arrogant bosses who make bad decisions and everyone below suffers. I am thinking about starting my own business, but I have to provide for my family. It’s scary, but I don’t know what else to do.

By: Toni in Missoula, MT

Toni in Missoula, MT — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 20:50:13 +0000

I’m a 40 something worker bee who has been employed by the same company for the last 20 years. I hit the wall two years ago…but recently due to some credit card debt I took a part time job at a local department store. I worked about 20 hours a week with a bunch of 20 somethings and gained a whole new perspective on my “real” job. Learning new skills and going through true customer service training seemed to revitalize me during my 8 – 5 jobs. I just worked for the holiday season, but have asked if I can come back next year. I am hoping the boost it gave my attitude will last until then.

The extra money wasn’t bad either.

By: John, Brookfield, WI

John, Brookfield, WI — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:17:27 +0000

Article pretty much sums up my situation. Despite what these “tough love” responders say it is difficult weaning yourself from a career that makes it possible to provide for your family, aging parents and helps support your kids as they make their way in the world. You want to be there for them but you recognize that you’re probably killing yourself by staying in a career that you can no longer abide.

I’m 53. I’ve been in the IT field for 25 years and I can’t stand it anymore. But between financial experts telling me I need $1 million to retire and the cost of healthcare I don’t want to gamble that my wife ends up on the street when I’m dead and buried because I took a flier at being a trapeze artist or whatever fancy I happen to think is worth the loss of security.

Not that even a million bucks is a
sure thing. Nothing is. And that may just be the way we have to look at it.
Nothing is certain so you may as well shoot for something fulfilling and have a little faith. Finding that something is the trick.

By: Yadgyu, Harkeyville, TX

Yadgyu, Harkeyville, TX — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 22:40:07 +0000

“If your identity comes from your job you will never be a truly happy person.” – Posted By Scott, Detroit Michigan

It is a good thing to finally read a sensible statement.

I have read many of the responses here. Most of you all are successful people who are too blind to realize your good fortune. I know many people that would kill to have a cushy, boring job that pays a decent wage and has benefits.

My grandfather worked in a factory for 42 years before he retired. Do you think he was bored at work? Heck yes! Did he quit because he was bored? No! He was a wise and generous man who enjoyed his family, his faith, and his friends. He never complained about work.

I believe that Scott is right about most of you not knowing who you are as people. You have worked hard to become successful people with all of the trappings that come along with being “middle class”. Unfortunately, you are still unhappy with all that you “accomplished”. I believe that most of you are too busy looking at what others are doing and are measuring yourselves by artificial means. Detach from the world and you will discover that 95% of the things you worked for do not matter. The 5% that matters is what you should focus your energy into.

By: Scott, Detroit Michigan

Scott, Detroit Michigan — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:15:29 +0000

Boo Hoo! As semi intelligent people, you would think that after being on this earth for some period of time you would know something about yourself. Apparently not. If your identity comes from your job you will never be a truly happy person. If you have a good job and aren’t happy, get some hobbies. Look at work as a means to finance what truly inspires you. Volunteer, teach for free, get active in your community. I think it is funny how many whiners there are. Can’t get a job (not at the pay you want, but after 33 years you should almost be ready for retirement? financially set? No? You messed up!). Everything I hear is about money. Downsize your life, you don’t need to keep up with the Joneses. Are you able to sum up what and who you are in 25 words or less. If not then nothing you do will help you because you don’t know who you are

By: mud, san diego, ca

mud, san diego, ca — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 06:16:28 +0000

After 33 years in the computer industry, I can’t get a job.

I’ve been a software developer at two high tech startups that went public. I was a director level engineering manager for ten years. My skill set includes network and system admin. I’m even a pretty good DBA for Oracle, Sybase, Ingres and MySQL. I’ve developed everything from embedded systems, CAD software, Web apps, video, content management systems.

I send out resumes and get no responses. The phone interviews never seem to produce face to face contact. No interview means no job.

I’ve always loved my career as a geek, but I’m very discouraged now. I’m losing the self esteem and the confidence that I’ve always had in myself.

I have never been indecisive but I just don’t know what is wrong with me or what I should do now.

This situation totally sucks.

By: Linda, Woodbury, MN

Linda, Woodbury, MN — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 16:10:24 +0000

Our culture is obsessed with perfectionism, making it difficult for many of us to be satisfied with anything for long. I would encourage people to acknowledge the boredom and then search for answers whether it be spiritual, self-help/growth, career, political, etc. I hit that wall a few years ago, along with a difficult boss. After much searching I landed a similar position for a different company. It’s been great (but the change was stressful for this detail-oriented, Type A person)! Along the way, I discovered many things that have helped me personally (FengShui being one.) I married for a second time. At the same time, I am exploring and becoming active in a political party thinking it may lead to a new career or vocation down the road or in retirement. It keeps up my interest now that the new position is getting routine. There is alot to learn and that keeps my mind active. It feels like I am growing and building on my experience.

By: Nancy Rothman, Baltimore, MD

Nancy Rothman, Baltimore, MD — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 03:03:18 +0000

Corporate life in marketing felt like prison to me. You were “locked in” all day, even if there was nothing happening. I started teaching at 38 and found great joy. Now I tutor and each day is exactly as I choose it to be. No more locked doors!

By: Lee, Charlotte, NC

Lee, Charlotte, NC — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:30:32 +0000

I will turn 53 soon and I found your article fit me perfectly. I have been in the same industry for more than 30 years. I have worked in different markets and made it to a mid-level manager or director-type position. Each change helped re-motivate me over the years but now my industry is facing huge challenges and it is much harder to have a good year. So I have to work even harder to try to make the same earnings. I make almost $100k and I can’t afford to be out of work or even make less money than I do now. So I feel really trapped due to my age and earnings. Nevertheless I keep looking for another job opportunity to change fields but I know the odds are slim.

By: S. O'Brien, Jacksonville Beach, FL

S. O'Brien, Jacksonville Beach, FL — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 17:09:32 +0000

I’m 55, my company was purchased by a larger company and all were laid off. Although I’m collecting on a severance for some time, the thought of going back into the same work causes much anxiety. Yet what else am I trained to do? I thought I was going to retire with the company I was with. I haven’t come across anything I might do to earn the same income I had. None of my “hobbies” are that bankable and I need that income. I also suffered from burn out and had the classic symptoms when I was working. I have no idea what to do now.

By: H. Anselmo, Portugal

H. Anselmo, Portugal — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 15:18:54 +0000

Changing career is a big issue for many people, but for me there are so many alternatives that is getting difficult to find out which is the best, .. that is narrowing with the age??
H. Anselmo

By: Sarita Gandhi, Delhi, India

Sarita Gandhi, Delhi, India — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 05:18:28 +0000

Thanks Annie. I found your article
I have forwarded the article to my Line managers; it will help them understand and deal with employees who are discontented.
Sarita Gandhi, HR
India

By: John, US expat in Singapore

John, US expat in Singapore — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 03:07:28 +0000

Am 38 yrs old in Financial Services. My ‘rethink’ is pretty much complete and in the end I found I am in the right line of work (in terms of innate strengths and aptitudes). From here I will continue to learn/retrain and ensure I put myself in areas that will intrigue me so I don’t fall into another rut.

The tradeoffs to be made are brutal. In my case I don’t know what my bliss is and I envy those who do, as it seems to me the decision is easier although the path is not easy.

My best feedback here is to NOT do anything rash. If you don’t know what to do next, just stick it out in your current situation and do a lot of research and meditation. Eventually the answer WILL come as impossible as that seems now.

Best of luck!

By: dave orman Adamsville Tn

dave orman Adamsville Tn — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 02:53:37 +0000

I am 56 y/o and have been an ER Nurse for 30 years. I just graduated from the Univ. of TN with degrees in Philosophy and History with the dream of Law School. I got the grades and LSAT score but somehow got into just working and concentrating on family. I have a chance to apply for a corporate position and/ or nursing home administrator but feel it is hopeless because I am so type cast as a nurse. I need to get over that hump but not sure just how.
On the education isssue. i was a 50 y/o male and a single parent when i went back to school. if i can ..anyone can

By: Miles, San Diego CA

Miles, San Diego CA — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 01:28:41 +0000

The article is great in theory, but right now is a really difficult time to change careers. Unemployment is rising, and hiring is going lower and lower. Not to mention the middle class is strapped and can’t take much of a hit or break in pay. Many of us are thankful to have our jobs as is and are hesitant to try anything that might take away that security. Not to mention healthcare, which is a big reason people stay at their company as moving companies can mean a period without benefits and therefore can end up being denied coverage if any pre-existing conditions. I work full time while doing university part time. I worked two years before I was *allowed* to take an entry level position at my company in another field, despite having some college units towards it and training for it while in my other job. If it’s that hard for me when I had all the advantages, I can’t fathom this being an option for most people. Not to mention I am young and did not make much to start with, so didn’t need to take a pay hit to start over. Encouraging people to tap into savings or into retirement for a career change could be a very bad choice years down the line.

By: Diana, Detroit, Mich.

Diana, Detroit, Mich. — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 23:01:52 +0000

I’m barrelling toward the big 4-0 and wondering why I’m still in the same job I was in at 30. I vowed in 1998 that I wasn’t going to turn 40 in Detroit, but here I am, and there are more obstacles to change than ever. I’m in a line of work where the best chance for getting ahead is relocating, and the idea of trying to sell my house in the worst market in the country (my ZIP code recently ranked 3rd in the nation for foreclosures) is disheartening. I turned down some good opportunities a few years back when I really liked where I was, and now I’m wishing I could rewind and do it all differently.
All told, it’s not so bad compared to what I see around me: I’m lucky to have a job at all (did I mention Michigan has the highest unemployment rate as well?), and that it’s interesting and the pay’s decent. Still, my colleagues who I started out with in the ’90s are all much more successful than me, my husband and I aren’t in a financial position to take risks because he was unemployed for a long time, and I just want to kick myself for being in this rut.
Thanks for the chance to vent.

By: Kris, Sydney, Australia

Kris, Sydney, Australia — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 21:33:15 +0000

I am 40 and have been very bored with my work for some time now. The hardest thing for me is finding an alternative, and not making money being such an important part of the decision making, and also not fearing to venture out and start something new. My passion is travel but I also love artistic endeavours, so after much agonising over my situation over the past couple of years, I have decided to travel extensively for a period of time, do some volunteering work, and will pursue a new career when I am back from my travels. This will mean starting from scratch, which has been a haunting idea in the past, but now, I look forward to studying, learning new things, and being excited about a possible new career in another artistic field. For the first time in my life, I don’t care too much about money, and instead follow my interest and passion, and just do it.

Good luck to all you folks out there who are in a similar position!

By: Jeff, Saint Anthony, Minnesota

Jeff, Saint Anthony, Minnesota — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 20:19:21 +0000

I’m soon to be 43, only child is off at college and I am now wondering if I can leave the financial world for a job in the sporting world. Doing what I don’t know. I can maintain myself for several years tapping retirement accounts etc.. but am scared to try to do the leap as I’ve never done anything in this area. I just love sports.