10 dumbest job-interview moves

I was looking for a part time retail job to fill the time I had free and save up some more cash while my BF was at school or work at night. I had 2 years experience in retail, and 2 years experience in the legal field with client interaction. Basically, I thought getting another retail job would be cake since I’m a people person.

I went to interview with Old Navy. I had already interviewed at JCPenney and they wanted to hire me on the spot, but I wanted to work at ON more. So I met with the manager and she explained the duties, hours, and said I would be a great fit with my great experience. Then she said they need to offer as many credit cards as possible to customers and asked “How would you go about offering a CC to a customer?” I seriously thought she was joking. I said “if I’m working the register, I would simply ask if they would like to put it on their ON credit card,” literally the exact same speech I’d always gotten there. She said “and then what would you say?” I looked at her like she was an idiot. I said I’d offer another incentive then proceed with the transaction.

She said “and then what would you say” I said “nothing.” She was acting like I needed to present an award speech to win a customer over into signing up for that stupid card. If they don’t want it in the first place, what makes you think they’ll want it a second or third time? I told her there’s nothing else I can add to that statement, since I haven’t heard anything more from her own employees. I wasn’t hired, and boy was I ever glad. I went in there on my break every day for 2 weeks after I worked at JCP looking for a suit in my size (top shelf, no poles around to get it) and after never being greeted, I gladly walked up to her one evening and introduced MYSELF as a customer looking for something, I’d appreciate one of the 15 people on her staff helping me out unlike the last 5 visits where no one would so much as look at me. She got it down, I went through the line and wasn’t even offered a CC. Go figure.

I was 38 when I interviewed for a publishing job. One of the two women interviewing me said, “If you got this job you would be working for me. And I’m yonger than you. How would you feel, working for a younger boss?”

I tried to mitigate the impertinence of the question by saying, “Well, gosh, I don’t think it would be a problem, and anyway, surely there can’t be that much of a difference between our ages?”

My attempt to find common ground fell as flat as a pancake. Her face darkened. “I’m 26!” she hissed. No call back from THAT one!

I interviewed for a job at Staples. The store manager forgot I was coming. He led me to the furniture section, sat down at a desk, an interviewed me there. I kept hoping no one would ask him for help finding something. I didn’t get the job.

A few years ago, I applied for a position at the local Kinko’s. At the time, I was battling severe sleep problems. When I went for the interview, I’d been awake for 36 hours straight. I drank a lot of coffee about a hour before and prayed it would be short. Between sleep deprivation and too much caffeine, it was very hard to stay focused. They didn’t throw me out, but I didn’t get the job. I realize now that I must have come across as either very drunk or on drugs.

When I hire legal paraprofessionals for my firm, I usually start out with a 5 minute phone interview, which I use to decide it the candidate is worth any more of my valuable time. I had two of these interviews that made my jaw drop.

In one instance I called a candidate, identified myself and the fact that I was very interested in her for the position, to which she responded asking me if I could call her back later, as she was on the phone with her sister.

The other instance was when I called a woman up, identified myself and the position that this young lady had applied for, to which she said, “Buddy, you have the wrong number, I don’t know what you are talking aboutl,” and hung up on me. The coup de grace came five minutes later when she left me a an apologetic message telling me that she now remembered who I was, and that she really, really wanted to speak to me again. She left seven messages over the next three days, none of which were returned.

One time a male candidate came in crossdressed as a woman…short form fitting skirt, low cut top, full make up, the works. Half way through the interview he started adjusting the breastforms inside his bra and asked the female manager where she shopped for her lingerie.

When I was a Senior in college a recruiter came to our campus. She was very prim and proper until the end when she used the “F” word. I was shocked but tried not to let it throw me off. I later learned that she did that to see if the candidate would start using profanity. Very strange but had a good laugh afterwards.

I recently interviewed with a well known retailer. My interview was with a district manager and set for 11am- I showed up on time, dressed professionally. I waited 20 minutes for him to show his face. He was dressed in jeans and commented he had forgotten about the interview. We sat down to talk and his first question was- tell me about your organizational skills. My response- more importantly- tell me about yours. Not a good time to be a smart a**.

Interview mistakes are not confined to the inexperienced. I once interviewed a CEO candidate from a very large telecommunications firm that leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the table during the entire interview, asked questions non-stop, refused to answer my questions when I could get one in after he had to pause to take a breath, and then told me how poorly the company was being run and only he could save us from ourselves. When the interview was concluded, the only question I had was how big an office I was going to have to build him if we offered him the job.

Here’s one about an employer.

They gave me a programming test - which I passed and they were impressed because only about 60% of the engineers passed the test and I’m a tech writer. Then they gave me a personality test and said I was too nice for the job.

Then they called me in two years later and gave me the personality test again and I came out even nicer. Then they gave me a take home writing test and accused me of plagiarizing off their web site, and had no answer when I asked them to please show me the paragraphs I had lifted. There weren’t any! I hadn’t plagiarized anything!

Then the HR guy said he wanted copies of all my W-2s for the past five years. Huh?? So I complained to the hiring guy and he wrote a huge long apology and said the HR guy might lose his job for that - but it was clearly fake. To this day that remains the weirdest interview I ever had.

The second two runnerups are: Big Major company for grilling me for 9 hours and I was so turned off I gave the wrong answers to their engineering questions but they offered me the job anyway and I turned them down.

Another big major company interviewed me 14 times over a period of about 3 years. I finally said all the people knew me and there was no more reason for an interview and to please hire me or not already. They never called me again - I was being interviewed as a way for the manager to look busy.

BTW - the best jobs I’ve gotten are those where I break all the rules. This includes one where I had laryngitis and squeaked through the whole interview. Got the job. Another one was a startup where I began telling the CEO, who was about 25, how to run things. He offered me the job and I turned it down. Others where I’ve dressed all wrong.

I once attended an interview with a prominent firm in the financial industry, and was later told I didn’t get the job. When I thanked the interviewer for contacting me, and asked if there was more feedback she could provide, she indicated that they were looking for someone who could “bully” their way through projects and that they were really looking for bullies. I was a lot happier after finding out I didn’t get the job, and was even happier to realize that they didn’t think I was a bully!!

Dumbest move I ever made? When the interviewer began talking about a problem the company was having, which was right in the center of my experience, I began solving the problem. What I learned later was the interviewer was the head of a team which was unsuccessful in solving the problem. In addition I made some unflattering comments on the company’s efforts to resolve the problem. I came accross as a “know-it-all” and of course didn’t get the job. Had I just asked questions and been more non-committal the job may have been mine. Live and learn. For more interviewing tips give us a look.

The biggest mistake I ever made at a job interview was in falling so low that I had to go hat in hand and give a crap what the old turd-ball sitting across the desk at the job interview might think about me in the first place!

I was interviewing for a Cobol programming position (yes that just dated me) at one of the worlds largest computer chip manufacturers. I had 4+ years experience programming. The position was a junior level position. The HR manager asked me point blank what was a cobol programmer doing interviewing for such a technical position. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. I don’t think he even knew how to spell Cobol much less interview properly.

I was interviewing an HR professional (!!) and things were going very well. Since we were looking for a someone that could roll with the punches, I asked, “what is the toughest situation you have been in?”

Her answer costed her the position because I didn’t want to hear about the disciplinary action of someone that pleasured themselves at their desk. But why stop there? She went into the covert operation to catch, DOCUMENT and bring witnesses….

I let her know that she needs to pick something like, ‘I had to put someone on suspension, or notify someone that they didn’t get the promotion’. Without such intense detail.

She is now at a major competitor and we wonder what they do over there…

I’ve had a few good ones lately…

The guy who used the same email address on his resume as the ‘contact us’ address for his porn site.

Another guy when asked what he was looking for in a manager “someone I can get a beer with”

Another guy who spent 10 minutes of his interview explaining how to work the unemployment system, while explaining the 12 month gap in his resume.

These were all for professional engineering positions.

I had a candidate interview at a major investment bank and she brought her husband into the interview. The client thought there was a mistake and someone put two candidates in the room at the same time. Finally, someone asked him who he was and he said, “I’m her husband.” Needless to say, this interview was very short and she didn’t get the job!

I’ve been recruiting for over 10 years and I really thought I was pretty thourough in preparing candidates for interviews, but people can surprise you sometimes! Luckily the relationship with the client was very good and we all had a laugh over it.

In the middle of interviewing an applicant, her cell phone rang, she answered it and set up another interview, sitting right there across the desk from me.

A company I worked for once interviewed for a graphic designer position. Considerable latitude was granted for the fact that many of the job seekers were artists. One woman, however, arrived dressed in a black cape with a portfolio that was ENTIRELY themed around vampires. When we asked her if she would be willing to cool it a bit with the vampires should she be hired, she “Oh no, I could never do that–vampires are my life!” Then she showed us her incisor teeth, which were filed to sharp points. We decided that was just too weird, and sent her on her way. (I imagine her now as one of those people who write articles about how many hundreds of rejections they’ve gotten.)

Had an interview candidate show up 20 minutes late and blamed traffic from his office to ours. He was coming from 2 buildings down and there was no traffic. He could’ve walked it in less than 10 minutes.
He followed that jewel with asking to borrow paper & pen, so he could take notes.
For an encore, he demanded to know before the end of the week (it was Thursday) because, he had a “LOT of other offers”.

Was applying for jobs immediately after suffering a traumatic brain injury and being in a coma. Had an interview at a bookstore and told the interviewer this was going to be my first job out of brain rehabilitation. Probably should have kept that to myself.

In the past I had management positions with a medium-sized organization where I sat in on every job interview, and in the last several years there, made the final hiring decision.

Some mistakes obviously come from nervousness and can be overlooked. Some are stupid and cannot be. But the one that, as far as I was concerned, hurt the interviewee the most, was when an interviewee (and this happened a number of times) would glance down at his or her watch, as if the interview were interfering with something far more importasnt that the interviewee needed to be doing or would soon be doing. This is very rude. I didn’t say so, but my position was this–if the interview was interfering with something more importasnt, or if something more important was on the interviewee’s mind, then I didn’t want to stand in the way. No matter where we were in the interview, it was wrapped up quickly–within a minute or two–and the interviewee was not considered further for the position. I suggest all interviewees leave watches in the car so they won’t be tempted to look at them when talking to the interviewer. It seems to me that when you are seeking a job, and are in an interview, that should be the most important thing in your life at that moment, and you should know enough to at least act like it.

I was in the final round of interviewing with Fedex. all of my interviews thus far had gone great. When asked about my departure from my previous employer I answered honestly and said that I had been fired. That was my kiss of death. I didn’t get the job.

My dumbest move: The job description detailed lots of interviewing of clients.

I attempted to take my job interview into an interview role-play. My interviewer was so thick she didn’t understand what I was doing. She got confused. That was the end of it.

It was a lucky escape for me because I don’t work well under thick people.

I once applied at a fast food place. When they asked me why i thought that i would be a good person to hire, i told them, “c’mon, a monkey could do this job”.

I’ve also applied for the positions of “The King” at Burger king, “The Hamburgler” at the other one. I’ve applied for “Wendy’s Poolboy” at Wendy’s… Just as well. I’m afraid to eat fast food anyway.

Two more notable bullet points on a resume I read recently read contained “able to take criticism” and “use to waking up early”. Wow.

I was conducting interview positions for seasonal retail positions at my company when a girl came in for a sales floor position. When I asked her about her last job and why she left, she stated simply, “a personality conflict with my boss.” That immediately threw up a red flag and I asked her to elaborate. She stated her former boss took out a restraining order on her when she began making harassing phone calls to her boss’s home because she didn’t like her work schedule, and when that didn’t work, began stalking her. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I thanked her for her time and showed her the door.

In reply to Stevo regarding the incompetence of MANY HR managers… Amen, brother! I’ve met maybe…2 decent HR recruiters/managers in my lifetime. Neither of them had an educational background in HR. (Both of them came originally from artistic backgrounds.) They were good at what they did precisely because they had an entreprenurial spirit and took the time to thoroughly understand the needs of the business they were hiring for. I think they were also amazing because their artistic backgrounds gave them the ability to delve beneath outward appearances and understand the person they were interviewing. (There are lots of people who are very talented engineers or mathmaticians who, because of the very nature of how their brain works, have difficulty communicating in writing.) Not sure what’s going with most HR people, but it would be great if HR departments were staffed with people who have actually worked in a profession of some kind before they begin hiring other people. It very often feels like they just don’t get it.

After reading the 10 examples of what not to say in an interview, I thought a few of them were kinda funny. Most HR people have no sense of humor, and have no clue about the job they’re hiring for anyway. To me that’s more of an issue. HR people, not all bad, not all clueless, just usually no experience doing the actual job to be filled. So laugh about the silly answers during an interview, but also laugh at the “green” interviewer themselves.

I have conducted a fair number of interviews over the years but this is my favorite. I was hiring for a help desk position and would ask a series of technical questions. If the interviewee could not answer we would move on to the next question. One young man started crying when he could not answer a single question

I am the manager of the help desk for a large utility company. We were filling the position of Internal Support lvl 1 technician (first line of support on the phone for employees).

This specific candidate was very intelligent and well spoken until I asked him the first interview question…

Me: “What is your weakness?”

Him: “I hate dealing with the public.”

Me shocked and a little confused after pausing hoping for more info: “You are aware that you are here for a lvl 1 help desk position right? You just threw a huge red flag and I want to give you a chance to elaborate on that answer because if I understood you correctly, you are not going to get the job.” (well, I assumed he’d figure out how wrong his statement was…

Him: “I hate when people call and expect me to be able to fix things on the spot.

Me even more shocked at this point: Wow… “Ok, thanks for coming in today, I didn’t misunderstand your statement. Good day.”

I used to work as a manager at a large computer company in the Netherlands, and I must say that my “worst interview blunder” prixe needs to be shared between these two women:

#1 When asked which three items she would bring to a deserted island, she mentioned “my cigarettes2 as the first item.

#2 clearly couldn’t hang on to a job - she got fired from (are you ready?) MCDONALDS the previous year.

Needless to say, these ladies didn’t get hired…

I was interviewing a middle-aged man and asked why he was interested in a job as a complaint-intake person. He said that he really needed insurance because his wife had numerous health issues and he knew our health insurance coverage was great!

A young lady came into the test lab where I once worked and sat down to interview with the boss in his glass-walled office. After about 20 minutes we could see that her head was nodded forward and the boss was staring at her incredulously in silence. He stepped out of his office only long enough to say that she had fallen asleep during the interview! He returned to his office, woke her up and after a brief conversation, sent her on her way. He then came back out of his office to explain to us what had happened… Prior to the interview, she was SO nervous that she decided she should take a sedative. Fearing that one sedative pill was not going to be enough, she took two!! Needless to say, she didn’t get the job, but she had our sympathy.

I got a resume and cover letter from a guy who had graduated from a electronic technician program but had absolutely no self confidence. He put himself down in the letter as having no experience and not knowing why anyone would hire him but he was trying to find a job anyway. I was so intrigued by the sincerity that I had him in for an interview. Sure enough no self confidence whatsoever but he learned his lessons well and was very sharp on his technical basics. I hired him and he was a great employee who got along with everyone well and gained confidence in his self worth. This happened about 40 years ago and I still have that cover letter somewhere since it was the most memorable I ever received except maybe for the one from the guy who said he could do and had done everything including saving sinking ships.

My roommate worked for GE and he brought a resume home to show me - a guy applying for an intership had his email address on his resume listed as ‘gangbang69@hotmail.com’

LOL.

I had just finished my last freelance contract and was looking for an agency to work at fulltime.
My first interviewer fell asleep on me half way through the interview.
After waking him up, he sat back in his chair and said “Oh, sorry about that. It’s my job to be an asshole.”

One person told me he hoped to have my job in 5 years.

I thought there was a ‘huge shortage of workers’ in fields like tech or engineering.

From reading these replies, it appears that, in fact, there is a huge shortage of people who conform to dress codes or have the proper college sports attire.

I guess the big 5 accounting firms might be shoveling our money into a black pit of offshore slush funds, but, hey, at least they dress nice and have witty remarks about their 5 year plans to synergize strategic opportunity balances.

I went in for a job interview once and was asked what my weakness were.

I said, “I don’t have any.”

I got the job and am currently at work typing this.

Got dressed for the second interview - khakis, shirt, tie, jacket. Changed the pants at the last minute to something much darker, but forgot to change the socks (which were khaki like the pants). Against the pants and shoes, they might as well have been white.

Interview went well, and a follow up email asked me about the socks. I didn’t have anything to lose, so I made a humourous reply, and the next email came back with the job offer.

It’s been two years with this company, and it’s one of the most fun workplaces I’ve ever been in.

My medical group was interviewing physicians to join our practice. One candidate asked one of our female partners to introduce him to all the “hot nurses”. (He didn’t get the position.)

I was interview an person for a cleaning job and I asked about the individual’s current Job and the resonse was “I’m leaving that job because I hate cleaning, that’s not for me” (????)

To a Wall Street interview, I once wore a mismatching suit jacket and pants. Not to wake my sleeping wife, I got dressed with the lights off. I didn’t realize it until I was crossing the street to enter the building. I guess it worked, because I got the job!

Mike D. NY, NY

Had a guy who brought both his mom and dad to an interview. When I asked him why he wanted to work my firm his response- “I need a job. You have one to give”

One guy wore shorts and sandels (professional level job). He said since it was over 90 degrees that day he just couldn’t bear to wear long pants.

Had a guy spell the name of his current employer wrong on his resume.

People who have FedEx’d there resume to me, using their current employers airbill number (charging them for it)

Countless people who when asked “Do you have any questions” get a deer in the headlights look and stammer something like- how many days off do I get?

And finally, when I ask, “describe your understanding of what our company does”- and it is clear they have only the vaguest notion.

I called a candidate with a job offer and he answered the phone with “Duffy’s Tavern, Vern ain’t here”. I left a message: “Tell Vern, he did not get the job.”

A serious candidate showed up with at least 5 rings on his fingers and wreeking of cologne

I had just graduated from college and was looking for my first real job. I was living on the west coast and had set up a phone interview with a company on the east coast at 10:00 in the morning. The day of the interview I got up early to prepare for the interview, as I was getting ready to hop in the shower the phone rang. Sure enough it was the interviewer calling for the interview. I had failed to realize the time difference between the east coast and west coast. Did the whole interview naked and half awake.

I interviewd a guy who applied to be a senior business analyst. When asked what his ideal job was, he said that it was laying on his couch all day doing nothing. The company, Afton Chemical still hired him anyway. I think they were desperate.

Accidentally scheduled 2 interviews at the same time, but got both mixed up and went to the wrong company.

I misspelled my last name on my resume. When I got the job, the hiring manager asked me how I spell my last name for my name plate. When I told him, he realized I misspelled my last name on my resume. He said if would have picked that up earlier, he never would have hired me.

Upon graduating from College many years ago and about to be married, I interviewed for an auto claims adjuster job at a prominent insurance company. On the way to the interview, someone hit my car at a traffic light and I negotiated for a $100 settlement on the spot and continued on to the interview a bit late. When I explained my tardiness, I mentioned the incident which which immediately made me look like a thief! My dumbest move in an interview.

I interviewed with my current employer 3 years ago with a 101 fever, coughing, runny nose, and the sweats. After about twenty minutes, the interviewer noticed my internet screen name(named after my favorite football team) and told me he was an Eagles fan too. I had the job that day.

Even retail has standards. More than once I have seen women come in who were not even wearing a bra. No thanks!

Asked a candidate how his trip was on the Ferry, he replied: “Well the bar wasn’t open on the ferry so I couldn’t get drunk before I came here”. It was 9:00am.

I group-interviewed an applicant who took a cell phone call and we sat waiting for at least 5 minutes while she went outside and took it. She came back and explained that that was her husband — they were trying to start a real estate business on the side and they always had to be available to take phone calls.

Wore a sophisticated tie with a TSHIRT . How can anyone make a ridiculous mistake such as that? I was feeling bitter by just watching him.

I read through these comments — JEEZ — you folks are real up tight…now there are some obvious ones here but some of them are just plane silly…loosen up people

Asked a candidate if anything in his background would prohibit him getting a US government security clearance, he replied with “well….I did get arrested for growing pot in my house but it wasn’t mine. Does that count?”

applying for an engineering position my boss asked the candidate “how many thousandths in an inch?” After much head-scratching and squirming the candidate responded “I’m not exactly certain but I’m sure there’s a heck of a lot of em”….this from a supposed BSME!

We had a candidate apply for a job as Director of Marketing Communications. The candidate interviewed with an engineer to get an understanding of our product. She sent him a follow up e-mail saying that she had enjoyed talking with him the most and that she found the marketing people to be a bore.

I was conducting an Interview and as we entered my office, the candiadte walk past me and sat in my chair behind my desk. needless to say they didn’t get the job.

I asked the candidate why the job hopping? He replid, “Because I have two people chasing me around and it took me years to realize they were imaginary. I asked, are they with you now? He replied, yes sitting next to me!

I once interviewed a young lady for a very entry level customer service position. I asked her a softball question “how do you rate your dependability on a scale of 1 to 10. She replied “7 no wait, 6 yeah I would probably say 6.”

The ten gallon hat principle can have it’s merits in the right place. A mate of mine delivered his resume in a USED pizza box to one of the largest advertising agencies in the world and landed the gig. Maybe the employment officer just loved pizzas. There are risks to an approch like that but don’t be afraid to think out side the square. Bold move and you need to be able to back it up. Look out here comes the pizza box trail.

I let a recruiter talk me into interviewing for a job he swore was not “building a trading platform”. One minute into the interview the client anounces they want to build a new trading platform. I spent the rest of the interview trying to convince the client why he didn’t want to hire me.

looking for unskilled labor I asked a candidate could he draw a straight line.
He reply was that he was not aware the position was that complicated.
joe@hamishmcbeth.com

Every industry has its high-profile blunders. Entertainment is no different. Shortly after the most-overbudget film in history wrapped — largely over budget due to poor location management — I received a resume from the location manager of said film with his recent experience on the highest-budget film Hollywood had ever made in oversized bold letters. Everyone will forgive you for being part of the industry equivalent of the Hindenberg if you don’t hype the fact that you’re one of the people most responsible for the explosion…

A job candidate walked into the interview with our manger’s subordinate and his first comment after he just finished interviewing with our manager was ” Who’s Thumper” as our manager tended to bounce up and down a lot in his chair out of habit. Needless to say he did not get the job.

Asked a guy why he had left his last job, the court ordered him to seek therapy. He had been stealing mail on his route…

As an IT recruiter I have seen my share of dumb interviewing mistakes….

* The person who chewed their gum loudly including taking it out of their mouth and attempting to shake hands with the same hand.

* The person who said they would take the job while they kept looking for a job in Florida where they really wanted to work

* Bringing their wife to the interview. The told me the decision would really be up to her.

* Asking about a perm job when it is a temporary assignment after they’ve been told the company hated that.

* Asking if they can telecommute 2 days a week after they’ve already been told the company needed them on site

* Lying on their resume about an assignment that you know they didn’t do or dates that are just blatantly not true

* Telling you they left the company because of all the sexual harrasment (and that they were going to sue) and it seems to happen to them on every job they work

* Talking for 30 minutes without ever really answering a single question they are asked

That’s just the beginning. There is no end to the way people ’shoot themselves in the foot’ when interviewing.

I went to a huge company and got to the last round interview. They informed me that the interviewer is the youngest sucessful one in the company.

He just talked about his trips and suddenly asked me what do I want to do next after graduation. I replied that I want to work in the field then finish my graduate school in some “brand name” school. I was thinking he must be brilliant and very Ivy League looking! He slowly told me that there is a very good graduate program at my school and he is teaching one of the classes there.

Oops!! Don’t judge anyone by their cover!!

My friend’s nephew was interviewing at a bank for his first job out of college. The kid’s grandfather was a very high up and well respected VP in another bank and effectively “set-up the kid to get the job”.

All the kid had to do was “show up” and his grandfather had greased the wheels, so to speak.

The kid blew it when…..

Q: So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?

A: Oh - I just want the job for about two years, as I plan on quitting and going on to get a masters degree.

He didn’t get the job. He was shocked that his honesty wasn’t the best policy.

I once interviewed a candidate for a customer service position in a bank. He informed me he could do 10 key by sight. I asked if he meant by touch and he said no just by sight. He didn’t get the job.

I brought a coffee to an interview. I tend to get dry mouth when I talk a lot while I’m nervous. I didn’t get the job abd was later told it was because of the coffee. They felt it was “cocky” to bring it with me.

We interviewed a woman who came 15 minutes late and in an apology wrote a poem for us about being late. It was entitled “Pissed Off!” She used this phrase over and over during her 5 minute rendition of the poem. The only reason why we continued her interview was that it was so humorously crazy and entertaining.

Had a young man come in for an interview, nice suit,clean,sharp and had two different color shoes on. hired him on the spot. Oh his nick name soon became 2 shoes.

Rather than the usual, “stupid interviews” piece, why not delve into stupid employers, and their foolish ways? That should be very popular!

For example:

1.) Help wanted ads that state, “entry level” when the requirements proceed to list a litany of requirements, and ‘at least FOUR YEARS’ of experience.”

2.) Employers who ask if we mind working “some overtime” — to which we lie and say, “No not at all!” (we’d love to stay here late slaving away, instead of eating dinner with our families — like YOU do.”

3.) Employment ads that do not state a salary range. They used to — before companies became more concerned with taking the lowest-bidder, saving pennies while sacrificing quality.

4.) Businesses that outsource American jobs — and then have the nerve to waive the flag and expect US to “Buy American.”

5.) Companies that import H-1 visa workers from China and India, then find out that many of these people can barely speak English — and aren’t nearly as good as their PhD-touting resumes would have you believe.

6.) Employers that think American workers are too dumb to be trained to do the same rudimentary tasks as the foreigners they prefer to import.

7.) Employers who decide they will ‘take the risk’ to actually hire an American, but then expect their new 9-dollar-an-hour receptionist to do the accounting, write copy, do database administration, update the company website, take out the trash, and “work a little overtime” on occasion. (which we all know means 50-hour-plus work weeks!)

How’s that for starters?
–Pretty dumb, huh?

Many years ago a recruiting firm for which I was working sent an applicant to Minneapolis to interview for a position. The applicant was a non US native from New York City and obviously was light in his knowledge of geography. When the interviewer asked him why he wanted to make a change, the response was “I am looking for a warmer climate…”! Uff Da.

I said that I was not interested by the money for an incentive based job.

I once had an interviewee ask questions which he said were from his mom. I had trouble keeping a straight face.

A friend mailed a large number of resumes, and to save money he sent them using “bulk” postage. Strangely, he never received any responses.

Job opening was for a sales position. The applicant had a 4pm appointment for which he was right on time. His timeliness was certainly assured having been dropped off in a chauffeured limousine. In addition, he wore a tuxedo complete with top hat and tails. My first question to him asked about his cane (the absense of it). His response was that he had left it in his “ride”. Bizarre(?)

I was to interview a prospective elementary school teacher. I greeted her at the door and motioned her into my office. She came in and sat down behind my desk. I knew she hadn’t noticed so I sat down across from her and asked, “Do you have any positions open?” She realized her error and jumped up, very embarassed. I did hire her.

A person was interviewed for a programmer position. A preliminary interview took place with HR, the person was then asked to come back for a technical interview with someone else. On the day of the interview, they phoned and said they had a family emergency and could not leave the house, so could they do it over the phone. We agreed, but they put a different person on the phone who was very technical, when they were not. But, they put a person of the opposite sex on the phone. When the interviewer spoke to HR afterwards they said they had never heard of a female having an obvious male name before. HR phoned the candidate with the interviewer on the phone, this time it was a male on the line…derrrr.

What I find interesting: Many of the posts on this forum talk about interview blunders, even castigating the job applicant…yet their posts are filled with typos, grammatical errors, or ALL CAPS.

Would you hire yourself, if your resume looked like that?

On the flip side, I got an interview for a job that I thought was relevant to my field of study. After taking the morning off from the job I was in, driving across town, and struggling to find a parking, I was greeted with, “Hi, you must be S. We just want you to know up front that we don’t think your degree is relevant to the job, and we won’t offer it to you. We just called you for an interview to find out why someone with your degree would apply for this job. We’re just curious!”

Nice and she wouldn’t validate my parking. Next time, just ask me over the phone. Don’t waste my time.

When I was interviewing for my first job after college (I was a finance major) I was asked if I was comfortable with doing a present value financial calculation, afraid that they would actually ask me to do one right there, I hemmed and hawed and basically said I am a bit rusty, but am sure I could figure it out. Needless to say, I did not get the job.

I interviewed for an engineering position @ Digital Equipment Corp, high up on that “hill” in Hudson, Mass years ago. After two rather abrasive interviewers, the 3rd asked me why I’m interested in the company. My first answer was that their recruiter called me and urged me to apply for this position; it would be a great opportunity to contribute to the business and also matches my skills base. He leaned over the desk and said “well-we are not going to BEG you to come to our company, that’s for sure”, with that “arrogant” attitude which seems to plague this part of the country. Then he went on to explain this so called “professional” position was not engineering, but an hourly night shift slot with a possible day shift position available after ten years (?)

Only interview I ever ended early. Shook his hand, walked out, didn’t even bother seeing the final interviewer because I determined I would never want to work for a company that offers this much arrogance in one sitting. (let alone sleazy, misleading recruiting practices) Less than 48 months later they were out of business…..

While hiring for a customer service rep., my 1pm appt. came in wearing sweatpants, a dirty t-shirt, and flip flops. When asked why I should hire her, she stood up and shouted, “If a customer has a problem, I’d put them in their place, cuz I don’t take no sh*t from anyone” Alrighty then…NEXT!

At a company that I worked for I sat on a Management Assessment Panel. Our job was to interview management candidates and provide this list to hiring managers throughout the company.
On one question, we had the candidate pretend to be a Manager and we played the role of the employee. The set up is it is Christmas and you are short staffed. A “good” employee needs to have time off to find day care due to her parents last minute move out of state.
The idea is that you want to here the candidate recommend possible solutions since they can’t really grant the time off. There is no right or wrong answer, you are just listening for compassion, organized thought and good suggestions as to what to do.

On that very last part, we (playing the employee) said that if we can’t have the time we will have to quit. The idea is to gauge the compassion of the candidate as a manager. Our candidate smiled at us with as much compassion as she could show and said “We sure will miss you..”
It was all we could do to keep from lauging at her answer.

I interviewed for a teaching position, very confidant, cool, casually conversing with the 10 people around the conference table. It wasn’t until after the interview that one teacher/interviewer told me “Um…you have a dry cleaning tag in your sleeve.” And there it was, big ol’ red tag with a big shiny safety pin hanging out the end of my sleeve.

I GOT THE JOB! They said besides my knowledge and demeanor, that little blunder endeared me to many of them.

I once opened an envelope with a resume inside of it…it was written in pencil (poorly) and the page was ripped out of a spiral notebook.

We all had a great laugh and it was hung up (name blocked out of course).

I have been employed for 16+ years without a break for more than a month between jobs. I am highly paid, computer professional. However I have made terrible mistakes during some of my interviews, this one tops all.

I was confident of my skills when I took the interview, and answered all the technical questions correct.It was a phone interview. The interviewers appreciated my technical knowledeg, it seemed like the interview was going to end. Just before that a lady asked me if I had problem getting along with people in my previous jobs. My answer was NO but without stopping there I went along with “very rarely, I have had issues with people but nothing major”
The interview ended there.
I was positive about the result as I had done all the technical questions correctly. But I did not get that job.

My last minute words cost me next 25 days of jobless situation.

I hope interviewers are little flxible sometimes.

I was interviewing for a promotion at the job I currently work at. In the middle of the interview, I noticed a bug crawling up my arm. Unfortunately, I made a mistake of jumping up and flicking it off my arm, which essentially went down the shirt of the woman interviewing me.

I didn’t get the promotion.

Ever had a candidate ask you NOT to hire him or her? We did. After completing a panel interview with a smart, sharply dressed candidate who, up to that point had done extremely well, we gave the candidate the opportunity to ask questions. To our complete dismay, she began to plead with us NOT to hire her if we didn’t think she was “ready for the job!” Needless to say, we granted her wish and hired someone else!

We had someone we were interviewing say, “I don’t actually know what you all do, but I would like to work here.” Needless to say, that was the kiss of death for her.

We interviewed someone this year who left his mobile phone on during the interview, and when it rang he got up and left the room to answer it. We all looked at each other like “Did that really happen?” The call was not a matter of life or death, just apparently more important than us!

I have interviewed recently with several high tech firms, including the Bermuda based firm, Accenture. The partner in charge of my second screening interview sent me an email which ended with his preprogrammed auto-signature file (which is attached to EVERY EMAIL HE SENDS) which said that he headed up an “Inferstructure” group.
This told me that:
1. His coworkers, and his subordinates can’t spell, or they enjoy letting him look like an idiot in front of his clients.
(or) 2. People in that firm must NOT be detail oriented (which is a pretty big problem for a computer consulting firm)

While I was interviewing a man he abruptly said, “excuse me” and left the room. He returned shortly, explaining that he was starting to hyperventilate but that he was OK to continue. The interview didn’t last much beyond that.

Had a candidate ask if our manager was single. I think he already knew the interview was going poorly.

Worst interview ever. She was a walking demonstration of what not to do. These are some of the nuggets I remember:

* Marinated in perfume, to cover the overpowering smell of cigarette smoke.
* Told us that she was suing a former employer.
* When asked her about her skills on a lesser used application, she told us that she didn’t want to learn it; she just got a another guy to do all that stuff for her. We noticed she took credit for doing it on her resume though.

We spent 20 minutes holding our breath in the interview, then after she left, another 20 making sure we had everything documented for HR in case she had some ideas for another lawsuit.

Applying for an engineering position, I told an engineering department manager I thought engineers should stop telling people how to build things.

I was all excited about this one job prospect. E-mail exchanges had been favorable and the phone interviews had gone really well. I flew out (on my own dime, taking vacation time) for the in-person interview, sure I had the job. I’m greeted at the door by my future boss, and we’re chatting and getting along great. We get back to her office and sit down. She picks my resume up off her desk and scans over it, then gets a blank look on her face. Conversation stops abruptly.

“Do you have a Master’s degree?” she says after a pause.

“No,” I say.

“Oh… This job is really for someone who has a Master’s. You only have a BA. I’m afraid we can’t hire you. I’m sorry.” She stood up. “Let me show you out.”

That was it. I was utterly dumbstruck. It took a stunned minute on the sidewalk for the truth (and swearing) to set in — somehow in the course of picking my resume out of a pile and conducting a 45-minute phone interview, it had somehow NEVER gotten through to this woman that I didn’t have a Master’s degree?! (We’d even discussed my undergraduate education on the phone!)

Epilogue: Two and a half years later, I now work for a different department and (sane) boss at the same company! I passed that woman in the hall once, and she did get a strange look on her face like she knew me from somewhere…

I had placed an ad in the local paper looking for someone to work at the front desk of my Chiropractic practice.
The very first young lady scheduled for an interview told me that Chiropractic might work for some, others like herself preferred to go to a REAL DOCTOR. Needless to say she was not hired. I did offer to give her the name and phone number of a local Psychiatrist who I felt would be able to direct her back to this planet we live on.

I stayed at a friends house in Austin, TX the night before a flight to Tucson for a job interview the next day. During the interview, my soon to be bosses assistant interrupted the interview and said I had an emergency phone call. I began to worry something dreadful had happened but when I picked up my bosses phone, I heard my friend on the line. He just wanted to remind me that if I was going to put my feet on my bosses desk, I needed to make sure my shoes were clean. Luckily, my future boss had a good sense of humor and laughed when he heard the story.

When I was younger, I lied on my resume to get a job. At the interview, I was asked about the job listed on my resume and I had no answer for the job description, duties, or length of time at that job. It was very embarrassing and needless to say, I did not get the job. Lying on your resume is NEVER worth the risk or compromising one’s character.

I am an executive recruiter. Following an interview, my applicant called to
tell me how well it had gone.
The hiring manager did not agree with that assessment, as the interviewee had vomited on the interviewer’s desk.

My best friend interviewed @ a hospital for an LPN position and the HR person asked him if he was gay.

The interviews for our last customer service position had to be the worst I’ve ever seen. A woman showed up in a stained, oversized T-shirt (untucked), holey jeans, sneakers, and carrying a Slurpee the size of Texas. Her application was full of spelling errors, including her own name and address. Another candidate said she needed a job with benefits because she had just found out she’s pregnant. Yet another said the reason she had so many jobs in the past 3 years was that “she’s not a morning person and found it difficult to function before 10 am”. One said he was interviewing because his parole officer told him about the job, and he needed money to pay off the fines from his DWIs (yes, that’s plural DWIs). Others simply showed up to fulfill the required unemployment statue that demands those who receive unemployment must actively seek a job, even if they don’t want it. If the clothes and attitude don’t dissuade you from hiring, then the extremely poor English, writing, spelling, and grammatical skills will. One particular genius replied to my question with “I ain’t got no idea ’bout that.”

While interviewing a candidate I explained that the entry-level position could get repetitive. The candidate assured me that he was perfectly fine with it getting boring or “monogamous”. Monogamous work made him happy, in fact.

My wife has a bit of a midwestern/southern accent, and when she applied at a local retailer in Seattle, Washington the interviewer noticed her accent and asked where she was from. When she told them Kansas, her interviewer replied,”do you still have problems with Indians out there?”. My wife said, “yes, and we’re still trying to get electricity too!”. She got up and left after that.

OK. Here’s mine. About 20 years ago I was the news director at a television station in Norfolk, Virginia. The mailroom delivered a large box to my office one day. In the box was a GIANT fortune cookie. In the cookie (you’re probably ahead of me by now) was a young lady’s resume. Of course, both went into the round file.
They tell you to make yourself stand out…but don’t be wacko!!!

Of the 10 dumbest interview moves, I found both the use of the press release and the placing of a resume in a ten-gallon hat to be pretty ingenious.

Attempts to set one’s self apart from the masses—dare I use the hackneyed phrase of “thinking outside the box”—is a technique of which most HR personnel haven’t the faintest concept; especially when the job in question is of the temp variety.

Most HR staffers are generally either totally unequipped to perform the job for which they are interviewing candidates or are resentlful of the salary these individuals may command.

It’s the lowest form of pandering to suggest that hiring managers are somehow the arbiters of what is “right”. Most would have a tremendously difficult time surviving any interview of their own were any form of entrepreneurship required.

HR is a haven for many individuals who seek a “safe” and non-challenging profession where all the answers are clear and concise. Why not challenge yourselves and accept that the traditional cookie-cutter may no longer be the appropriate model?

One man submitted his resume to me, not justlisting all of his accomplishments, but listed his work in Haiku poetry many times over, as if that would impress me or compensate for his lack of qualifications for the job.

The funny thing was, it was the wordiest and most disorganized resume I had ever seen. All by a self- described Haiku poet!

After a tour of the Computer Room, and meeting a few workers; I settled down for the interview. The first question was, “How do you like my cabinet”? I thought he was speaking of the staff - so I went on and on about how nice and friendly the people were. They seemed to get along fine, etc… He chuckled, and said, “We got new cabinets in the room.. just wondered if you liked them”. I felt like a heel - but got the job!

I finally got an interview with a company I had long admired. Once there, the assistant manager flirted with me and the manager looked totally spaced out! I was offered the job but had to think about it…took it, and watched the assistant manager get fired months later and the manager totally flake out…I left soon after. I should’ve listened to my first instinct and not taken the job.

While I was interviewing people to fill a warehouse position, I had this one interviewee that I thought was talking to himself and was concerned about this behavior. Turns out that he was talking to someone on his cell phones cordless headset……..during the entire interview.

I was working as a bartender at a restaurant and an guy walked in, filled out an application at the bar and was told to wait for his interview. He turns to me and asks for a margarita. I asked him, “Really?” He nodded, so I served him. He didn’t get the job.

I had a candidate who bombed his technical interviews and I was taking him out to lunch. During lunch he ordered alcohol and said “I should take advantage of my free lunch and trip to Boston since I did bad in the interview”…..At which point, I made the waitress give us seperate bills…

I work for a respectable investment firm in an upscale area of town, and dress what I would consider very casually for our profession, dress shirts and slacks for men. We were looking to hire someone to fill a creative position in marketing. One interviewee showed up to the interview in jeans, sneakers, and a Polo shirt. My original reaction was one of horror in bringing him into our office like that. I was about to dismiss him, but I thought, “He has a fantastic resume. Maybe he is just a really creative person, and may not ‘fit in’ right away.” I gave him a shot while mentally deducting a few points for presentation. He was skilled in his profession and very likeable and personable. It was a very good interview, until I asked him why he chose jeans for his interview attire. His countenance darkened, and he responded, “I am not pretentious. This is who I am and this is how I dress. I don’t need to wear a suit to prove I am skilled.” “It is not a matter of skill, it is a matter of professionalism.” I commented, “What if I told you the VP of this department wears a suit.” “I will wear one if I have to, but people who are confident in who they are don’t need fancy clothes to be a man,” he retorted defensively. “I think she would agree.” I calmly replied. He obviously didn’t get the job.

I Asked if their insurance would cover IVF.

Hey, I had to bring my mother to an interview once because we were heading out of town afterwards and I ended up getting the job.

While working at a retail store the summer after my sophomore year of college, I had a young man come in for an application with his mother, which was not particularly unusual, however this usually sends a red flag that the applicant is not yet 18 years old. The mother said very harshly, “he needs a job, you hiring?”
The strange part was that “mom” started filling out the application for him right at the register.
The stranger part, was that when I asked if he was indeed 18, he looked at me like I was the idiot, and said “I’m 22″
He was my age now, and I’d never in a million years have my mother fill out my information.

I had a guy make sexual advances on me when I was interviewing him! (and I am a guy!)

I went for an interview with a small law firm a couple of months ago. The managing partner decided to bring his law student/intern in to “observe the process.” When the partner asked me about my salary requirements I was just mortified talking about it in front of this kid. I told him and he said to me, “well, we don’t actually have salaries, you get a percentage of the gross, which comes out to be about $xx,000 less than you want.”

First, don’t drag in kids for me to talk about something sensitive like salary. Second, why did he even bother asking if he knew what I could pull in? I walked out after 20 minutes.

I had my first job interview shortly after learning to drive. My mom came with me, since I only had a learner’s permit and an adult had to be in the car. I insisted on driving the 45 minutes to the interview so I could get some more driving practice. However, I had just bought a new pair of shoes, and hadn’t scuffed them up yet. To be overly cautious and ensure my foot wouldn’t slip off the pedal while driving, I wore a sneaker on my right foot and put the other shoe in the trunk…or so I thought. When I got to the parking lot, my other shoe was nowhere to be found, so I had to go into the interview with a brand new shoe on my left foot and an old sneaker on my right foot! I happened to be on the track team at my school, so I came up with the excuse that I was injured. I walked into the interview room with a limp and told the interviewer that my foot was more comfortable in a sneaker. After that initial awkwardness, the rest of the interview went fine. I was wait-listed for the job, and eventually got it (although by then I had another job lined up).

I once had a candidate arrive with a high-ball in his hand, complete with sword skewered cherries and place it on my desk in between sips. True story.

Note to self: If I am going to consume an adult beverage during an interview, place in coffee mug.

I interviewed one lady who was very heavy. There was a steep hill to climb to reach our office and it was summer. When she sat down in my office she was perspiring and out of breath. I was chatting and giving her a few minutes to cool off, I genuinely felt bad for her. But she then spread her unstockinged legs wide open, hiked up her dress about thigh high and began fanning herself under her skirt with her resume!!! I could barely talk but she kept chattering away, just as comfortable as could be, exposing herself to me. I guess she figured this was just between us girls.

I had another candidate for a position keep her sunglasses on through the whole interview, finally explaining she had had eye surgery and would need a great deal of accommodation. She also told me she had had back surgery earlier in the year and would need accommodation for that as well and would miss “a lot” of work. And she couldn’t stand for more than a few minutes. This was for a job that required being on your feet almost the whole time.

Next!

Last year I was a low-level worker in the production office of a TV show. We needed to hire an assistant for our Travel Coordinator, so I was given a stack of resumes to go through. One guy I called had been a concierge at a number of hotels but didn’t have any entertainment experience. When I asked him to come in for an interview, he said he didn’t want the assistant job, he wanted to be a producer because while he’d never worked in entertainment he did have “relevant experience.” I told him there was no chance of becoming a producer with no prior producing experience, and that assisting the Travel Coordinator would be a good way to start. He said he wasn’t interested. Good luck getting in the industry with that attitude.

I was interviewing people for an entry level trainee-to-assistant to me in the IT department. I interviewed this 20 year old who was working at office depot for minimum wage. He had very little IT experience and no college education (perfect for what I was looking for) and when asked what wage he was expecting, he said twenty to twenty-two dollars an hour. Right… ya he didn’t get hired.

When I asked an applicant to tell me some of her positive traits she paused and then said, “The only time that I get drunk is on the weekends!”

I had an interview at 1:00pm, and I was very nervous and skipped the lunch to get there on time. I grabbed one of those tropical juice bottle from gas station and drank almost all of it. 15 minutes in my interview, i started to get dizzy, sweating, ready to throw up. I tried to keep my head straight, and talk though at this point I could not see the interviewer. after about few minutes I was able to see.
I was definitely sure that I wont get the job, But I did get the job.

TIP: Make sure you eat something before your interview.

I once interviewed a recent college graduate, female, who must have thought it cute to continue to use the “California girl accent”. You know which one I mean, the one with the wrong inflection on the end of the sentence. Can you imagine the confusion when she would be talking and those listening to her would be answering her statement. Needless…

I once interviewed for a position with a company that was very laid back and they all worked out of a house. The interview went fantastic! They showed me the entire place, introduced me to everyone, and I knew I had cinched the job. That was until as I was walking out and I for some reason I told her I thought the girl in the front, the receptionist, was very cute. She was person I had interviewed with girlfriend. I never heard from them again.

When asked “Why did you apply for this position” the interviewee replied: “Because my girlfriend made me.” The worst part is that I had to BEG my boss not to hire the guy.

Many years ago I went into an interview and, before I knew it, I was telling the interviewer all of my personal problems. The interviewer put his hand on my shoulder as he walked me out and said, “A little advice — don’t ever tell an interviewer your personal problems and P.S., I would have hired you.” Definite lesson learned.

There have been a number of interesting interviews.
Once a young ladyinterviewing for an accountantR