When will corporate women rise higher?
A 50-something reader who found she couldn’t ‘have it all’ asks Fortune’s Anne Fisher if her daughter can expect better career rewards. In her October 1 Ask Annie column, Fisher explains whether to offer the next generation a reality check, or to keep quiet. Has your career turned out the way you hoped, so far? Would you advise someone just starting out in your field to follow in your footsteps? Do you think women starting careers today will advance further?
America land of the democracy has yet to ever elect a woman President, ironic. Many other countries that are far less progressive than the U.S. such as Israel, India, Philipine and other have reached this pinacle year ago before us. Call it discrimination or any other reason you want, reality speaks for itself. Women in the eyes of men are still trying to overcome the fear that power and womanliness are mutually exclusive. Do you believe Women are Better Leaders than Men? ——-> http://www.youpolls.com/details.asp?pid=653
I guess my advice to the daughter would be to take life as it comes, work hard and enjoy it.
My husband and I have almost finished raising 3 children. I’m a lawyer and my husband is a writer. We had an agreement that we couldn’t both have crazy jobs at the same time. Sometimes I had the crazy job — defined as one with long hours and/or travel — and sometimes he had the crazy job. Sometimes he attended the soccer games, recitals, etc. and sometimes I did. We are both very committed to our children and fortunately, we both hate housework. We have both had rewarding careers with the usual peaks and valleys and have, most of the time, earned enough money to live comfortably.
I started out on the leading edge of the baby boom and had many unenviable “firsts” — like being the first woman in the office to take maternity leave and the first woman in the office to have both kids come down with chickenpox, one after the other. Right now, I’m working part-time and managing the care of elderly relatives. I never imagined that I would need to develop an expertise in senior health issues. Some days I wonder why I didn’t go to medical school! Overall, I think of my life as like a flower unopening. You just never know how it’s going to turn out. That’s the fun of it.
I’m a 55-year-old woman also. I’ve worked long hours, not been promoted, not always been there for my kids when I wanted to be, got stuck with all the housework, etc. That’s life! I don’t get what the alternative is that you can tell your daughter. Give up now?
Dear 50-Something:
Welcome to the club of people who didn’t get where they thought they could/should — and I did not take off any time to have children or the like.
On the other hand, a long-time friend (that I recognized in-the-beginning as having great potential) is now a Fortune-50 V.P. — and she did have kids along the way.
Luck? Karma? “A Rabbi”? Who knows. Regardless, You are the product of the books you read, the people you meet, and the decisions you make. Discrimination exits at every level, all the time. Sometimes against - but sometimes for - but almost always where you can’t see it.
Tell your daughter that the world is hers for the taking - if she is willing to pay the price. Remember, our Founding Fathers gave us the right to, “Life, Liberty, and the PURSUIT of happiness!” Nothing is guaranteed!
“Sixty-Something”
PS - I am a Caucasian Male
Nobody can “have it all”. Not men either. Men don’t feel the same way about their children as women do. Men “don’t have it all” because their emotional and family lives are not as rich.
That being said, women can’t “have it all” either but a rich family and emotional life can be stunted by lack of her own money. Men are often not good at sharing. Or “Our” money is jsut thier money becasue they made it. each person has to achieve their own balance work life balance.
Support your daughter’s choices whatever they are.
The reason that women feel that they “cannot have it all” is because they feel as if (or they are dumped with) having to “do it all at home.” To borrow a phrase from some contemporary female writers, the change needs to be made at home where men are not applauded for doing their half of the household chores. Families are better off when both parents have the ability to support the family and spend time with the children equally.
As for inflammatory: How widely discussed is the phenomenon of the “depressed pathetic housewife?” Men are happy to have women “at home” and dependent while women who “choose to stay home,” well . . . misery loves company.
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You can’t have it all. The workplace today doesn’t allow personal time or demands. The backlash against women grows with each article. Every economic downturn creates more backlash against working women. Men believe women should be home with the children. Management believes women should be home and women are disposable.
I have watched the attitude changes from 1990 to today. In the 90s, companies bent over backwards to help all their employees. Today, a working woman with children struggles to keep her job. A working woman is expected to accept nasty behavior from co-workers.
More and more women are choosing to stay home with their children rather than suffer the harassing behaviors by management and co-workers.