Comments on: Help! I accepted a job – can I change my mind?

By: Annie

Annie — Sun, 10 May 2009 11:40:30 +0000

Leon, I think you’ve answered your own question: If your plan is to be a journalist, take the journalism job! Nothing wrong with PR, but that internship won’t advance you toward your ultimate goal. I’m getting the sense that the only thing holding you back from India is, you’ll be embarrassed to back out of the PR offer. So be embarrassed! The PR people can find someone else — they’ve probably got back-up candidates in mind already anyway… — and if you explain that you’ve had another offer that better fits your long-term career objective(s), and thank them effusively for their work on the visa application etc., no one is going to hold it against you for long. Don’t forget, employers these days have no compunctions about laying people off with little or no notice, and it’s a two-way street. Good luck in India — it will be a fascinating experience!

By: Leon, NY, NY

Leon, NY, NY — Sun, 10 May 2009 04:35:28 +0000

It’s an internship – got a PR offer at this renowned international PR firm with a nominal stipend that means that I would have to fork out another US$1000 or less for my eight weeks there. Accepted it, visa application is now in the process. I can get to see how the corporate side of the communications industry is like, and I get to be in touch with local media and international corporations. Starts in two weeks’ time.

At the same time I have a journalism internship (in English) offer in India, unpaid. My air tickets + visa + living expenses including rent would come up to slightly more than what I would fork out for the above internship. I wouldn’t know what to expect from this internship, but India is a journalist’s dream, and I hope to uncover a lot of stories. But I really don’t know what the situation on the ground is like. It’s one of the top papers in northern India. I’ve not said an outright “yes” to them but it’s open for me, as I’ve checked last week. India keeps lingering at the back of my mind.

I could reject the PR one and burn bridges, but what excuses can I give? Considering that I’ve accepted the PR one over a month ago and have been in fact emailing the company to see when my visa would be approved, and where I can start looking for places to rent.

I’m a journalism masters student who most likely would stay in journalism than PR. What should I do? Give up India or the PR one? Would appreciate a reply ASAP (ie by May 11). Thanks!

By: Annie

Annie — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 18:24:11 +0000

Michelle, this is a tough one, but it seems clear that your best bet is to be honest with Company B and explain what happened: You accepted their offer because you had been led to believe that Company A was headed for extinction, and now it turns out that is not the case (at least for now). You sincerely appreciate Company B’s offer, but you really feel that your first loyalty is to Company A. Right? Don’t worry too much about this. It is awkward to have to back out of a job, but after all, employers have been known to rescind job offers too. And in this job market, there are so many great people out of work, Company B should have no trouble filling the position. Now, having said all that, let’s hope Company A stays afloat for a good long time!

By: Michelle, Washington, DC

Michelle, Washington, DC — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:12:24 +0000

I have a question related to accepting a new job offer and then deciding to back out. My situation is a bit different because my whole reason for leaving company A was because they were headed down the road of closing. The owner and president met with everyone, and laid off most employees with severence. A few including myself were kept on to tie up loose ends. However, they encouraged us to look for other jobs. I did so and landed a job immediately. The start date gave me a month left at company A. Now I’m three days from my last day at company A, and things have changed. A new deal is in the works, and they have offered me a salary that is higher than my new job. I’m a week and a half from my new proposed start date. What should I do? I haven’t signed a contract just a job offer letter that is nonbinding. I love company A, but in this economy who knows if they will be in the same boat 12 months down the road. I plan to ask for a 3-6 month severence if that happens in the future before I accept the offer to stay.

By: Marty, Tomah, Wisconsin

Marty, Tomah, Wisconsin — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:27:48 +0000

My employer is being purchased by another business, which we were notified about approximately 1 month ago. The official closing will not be until 2 weeks from now, but still, the new owner has not met with anyone as to what our future or job description will be. How do I approach the new owner as to what he has planned for me without putting me in a “bad light” with him?

By: Andres, Calgary, Alberta

Andres, Calgary, Alberta — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 22:10:28 +0000

This is urgent. Please provide me with some advice. I accepted (signed an offer) to a job that I found through a head hunting agency, but I am supposed to start on two weeks. When I gave the notice at my current employer they counter-offered me with a better position and better work conditions (reason to leave initially). I want to accept the second one. Can I get off the other offer? are consequencies? legally?

By: Nancy, Seattle, Washington

Nancy, Seattle, Washington — Sat, 24 May 2008 16:47:02 +0000

Wow, am sure glad I came across this blog and hope you can help me! I have a slightly different problem in that my employer promised me and announced to my team my internal promotion, then decided to open it up internally, and has now opened it up to external candidates, all the while telling me that it’s a shoe-in for me! Well, this is, to my mind, a path I don’t want to go down in terms of credibility, ethics, and legality. What do you suggest? Thank you!

By: Laura, Augusta, GA

Laura, Augusta, GA — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:03:06 +0000

I notified both our CEO and our SVP Sales that another company approached me with a job offer (I did not seek out this position). I told each of them that I would like to stay and asked if they could arrange for me to get the same experience in our company. Both of them said they didn’t want to lose me, and the CEO offered to accomodate my request. As a result, I turned down the other position and that company offered it to someone else. Less than 2 days later my CEO announced publicly that there would be layoffs. I was one of 30 people laid off (most of my counterparts and those with less seniority and revenue kept their jobs). Instead of being dishonest, they should have encouraged me to accept the other position. Turns out they knew about the layoffs for months. Do I have any legal recourse? Thanks for your help!

By: Zee, Marietta, Georgia

Zee, Marietta, Georgia — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 22:41:12 +0000

Its funny how everyone is talking about the ethics of the employee and the responsibility of the employee to the employer. First of all I feel like these people don’t take into account there are people that NEED jobs. If I got offered a job without health insurance because I need to feed my child I’m not going to turn it down. If a better job comes along somehow two weeks/ a month later with health insurance I will sure as heck leave without even feeling guilty. Employers will not hesitate or feel bad when your worked yourself to the bone for them and they lay you off to so the top big wigs don’t have to take a pay cut.

By: John Agius, Melbourne, Victoria

John Agius, Melbourne, Victoria — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 13:10:46 +0000

I Cannot Help seeing a job seeker like me with no income looking for work, being granted a job, refusing other jobs, and after that, the people who granted the job go back on their word and so the job seeker ends back to step 1 without a job.

So is THAT FAIR??

By: Del Pocatello, ID

Del Pocatello, ID — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 08:26:59 +0000

I have just had an interesting issues happen and would like some assistance. I received an offer from a company I interviewed with, but had decided not to hire me. They had hired their first choice and upon doing so another employee had decided to give his notice so they extended a secondary offer to me. The offer they extended was monetarily pretty good and benefits, etc seemed to be inline. Then a week after I accepted I received an offer from a larger, more secure company, monetarily (wage) is equal, but there is a much better chance for bonuses, stock options, etc and their insurance is better. After looking into the insurance issue with the first company, they had recently changed so I did not get as much information as I would have liked, but eventually got the website and contact information and checked it out. Turns out that the coverage for myself and my family is sub-standard and will really make things hard on us. I am thinking that rescinding my acceptance is prudent in this case because of the lack of up front information. Any opinions?

By: Amanda, Montgomery, AL

Amanda, Montgomery, AL — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 16:39:22 +0000

I have been interviewing at serveral places with top choices in mind. I delcined several my least favorites and kep the top two. I was offered a position at Company B with comparable salary and nice location while wanting Company A but had not heard back from. I made my follow up calls but had a deadline with company B to let them know my answer. Having not heard anything from Company A but my dealine, I accepted Company B’s offer on a Friday and on Monday Company A called. I know that is bad to accept and offer and back out. I have not begun work at Company B. Is it ok to back out? or how bad is it to do that. I know that I am the one who has to be happy with my job and look after myself. Company B was a second choise and I know I would learn alot but I have felt I could learn and grow more professionally with Company A. Help!

By: Joe Pomona CALIFORNIA

Joe Pomona CALIFORNIA — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 16:51:08 +0000

Again you get a job and then change your mind?? it doesnt make sense why taken at the first place why wasting the employer time and taken someone else opportunity?? Is like you go to a nice restaurant you sit and order a nice tilapia with broccoli while the waiter is serving you u said I change my mind I want steak instead?have ever heard such thing? Oh what a weird world we live grow up!!

By: Stoppak, Chicago, IL

Stoppak, Chicago, IL — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 05:22:53 +0000

Hi… I just came across this site. I’m in a situation where my family and I recently relocated to a different state. After almost 3 weeks here, I have found a job but not something I want to do nor feel comfortable with. (We really needed jobs so we took whatever was available). I wasn’t crazy about my last job but it was comfortable and I have worked there 11 yrs. This new job is at a brand new dept store that won’t open until a few weeks from now. I have applied at other places that was similar to my old job even though I promised myself to not have that type of job again. Regardless, I find myself missing my old job because it was a comfortable working environment. Basically, I’m in a position where I know I want to quit as soon as I get a call for an interview in the future knowing I will get the job due to my experience. No calls yet but how do I go about making an excuse to miss work if I am just getting started on training and my schedule was just set for the coming week. In case I get a call for an interview, what do I say to my current employer? Also, if I were accepted by a company and took that new job, would I have to add the current short lived job on my resume?

By: Charles, Phoenix, AZ

Charles, Phoenix, AZ — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 05:52:08 +0000

Two seeks ago my aunt resign from her job with the state of AZ because of a plan to move, now her plans change and wants her job back. They wont allow her to get her job back again or even apply for it. She’s a case worker with the social services.

By: Larry, Orlando, Florida

Larry, Orlando, Florida — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 19:41:55 +0000

I need help!!! I’ve resigned from my current job after 3 years due to stress from traveling away from home for 200+ days each year. I’m to start a local position with no travel in 5 days. It is a position that is O.K. but a little below my skill levels. The main reason I have accepted is because it gets me off the road and has the potential to grow significantly. This is all good. Now the bad…Today I get not one, but three calls regarding much better positions. Two of the three did preliminary telephone interviews that went very well. Now I’m a mess, do I go ahead and start the other job next week or do I back out of it and hope one of the other positions does indeed work out. Of course if they don’t I may end up unemployed with a family of 5 to feed. Anybody else ever in this situation??

By: Eric, New York, NY

Eric, New York, NY — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 21:09:20 +0000

It’s interesting reading about what people consider to be “ethical” here. It’s more ethical to do what you enjoy than to force yourself to do something you don’t because someone says you have to uphold their code of ethics for them.

I’ll be one of those that maintains that *any* organization will not think twice about letting you go if it suited them for any reason. The workplace has changed dramatically and “loyalty” is more defined by doing a good job at a company while you are there.

I imagine most who are trying to condemn someone who would rescind their acceptance to a new job to take a better one are those who would be inconvenienced by such an employee–such as a hiring manager. In other words, they have a selfish interest in trying to shame someone into staying.

By: jim, boston ma

jim, boston ma — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 18:54:54 +0000

Get a grip on reality… I have seen and been part of many situations where the employer cut people or recined job offers or promosed something and never delivered…. All in the name of what is best for the business… The employee,no matter if you have been employeed for 1 hour or 25 years, must look out for them selfs first, second, and last… No company today will look out for your interests.. no matter what they say… look at the actions and if you see a kind act by an employer then it is an isolated incident done by a lone ethical manager… If you are offered your dream job after two weeks accept it and schedule a start date… then just quit your current job… no expanation is required… just say you do not feel you fit the culture… do not tell them where you are going or what you will be doing… they will very quicly forget about you…

By: z-man, Knoxille, TN

z-man, Knoxille, TN — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 02:24:52 +0000

A lot depends on if the jobs are similar. I am currently in a situation where I took a job with company A that will require perhaps 2 months of travel per year and is nearly an hour from home. Then I get an offer from company B a half hour from home with no travel. I have worked at A for 2 weeks, but the differences are too much too keep me there because I know I would not feel committed to A, I would feel trapped.

The employee has to look out for their best interest and the company has to look out for their best interest. That is the way markets work efficiently. If anyone starts to take into account “feelings” then it throws the system out of whack.

By: Somewhere in Canada

Somewhere in Canada — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 13:48:38 +0000

I am currently in a similair situation. I accepted a really good job offer form another company. WHen i went to resign from my current company, my boss wouldn’t accept my resignation and offered me money comparable to the other company. Now i am in a delima since i already signed the offer letter to the other company. I have no idea what to do

Annie here: I think you have to go with the other (new) company. If you stay where you are, your boss will think it was just for the extra money — and the perception that you can be so easily “bought” won’t be good for your future career there.