How to beat a backstabber at work

I work in a corporate office that had a admin. staff of 6 when I started out. Now 2 years later due to the drop in sales and the company has had to cut back to just 3. I was the last one hired in, but was not one of the ones let go. The one of the ones that was let go has let it be known that I should of been let go, but due to my skill levels being higher, and having more experience the company did not go in that direction. When I would suggest a new and better & more efficient way of doing something she was the one that would complain about not knowing how to or would refuse to learn or even try. Simple software applications such as MS Word, or Excel were a chanllenge for her. She would refer to me as the “expert” and I never claimed to be that she would just take offence to the fact that I know how to use the programs and even our back office programs that we all attended training for at the same time, I just know so much more about and how to utilize. Now that she is gone, the remaining admin. staff that was here have sort of put a bulls eye on me and have begun to talk and complain to the mgmt about me. We have even had a staff meeting regarding the situation, they have been told that there will be no “clicks” in the office and to stop with the “dragging through the mud” attitude’s. Now that was 2 months ago and it has started up again. What can I do to prevent an negative effect on my situation/position with the mgmt/company. They also constantly bring up or say, she’s young and discount everything that I do because of my age. But the Mgmt is constantly coming to me to get projects completed where they never ask the others to do those sort of things. Please help!

This is a great site and I’d really like to see more topics like this posted. I see now that I’m not alone in dealin with bad co-workers/bullies. I think the laws ought to be changed to include bullying at work as a crime and hold companies liable for not enforcing the rules an policies set to create a safe working environment for their employees.

First of all you need to stop taking it too personal. Always put your best at everything you do, you cannot go wrong. Second, if “that” person becomes so abnoxious, use what we call “negative reinforcement” dont feed the tiger. Always, always praise those who deserve it, and dont compromise your integrity by becoming unprofessional. Read, “emotional intelligence” and remember you’re a leader
and good employees deserve the best. Lead by example!!

Dear Miami,
First, forget about what this other person thinks about your promotion. In cases like this, document everything if is refusing to follow orders. First, and if havent done so, sit with every individual and explain to them what are your expectations and job specifications. Be proffesional and document the “meeting”. so, if jone joe decides he doesnt feel like it, then you’ll have something to remind him of. Again doc. Lastly, listen to them and do not ever take anything personal. it could make things that are unproffessional.

Most of you all, need to read “Emotional intelligence.”
Backstabbing is part of life and has to be dealt with to a point where it doesnt affect your job and or your mental health. Always pat someone whose doing a good job and negative reinforcement for those say too much. Dont take anything personal.

Need feedback. I recently got a promotion and already being bad mouthed on the job. The people doing it are the ones I really need to get my job done. One outright refuses to help me because they felt they should have gotten the job. I made up my mind to focus what matters most. What need to be done. How do I deal with this difficult person.

I took a promotion that management begged me to take because they knew I would do a good job which I do. I had previously turned them down twice. Problem is, 3-4 of the people I supervise also wanted the job. I really did not care about getting this job due to the small pay increase. I took it just to do something different. The backstabbing was bad for about a month or two, but is now non-existent. If only the backstabbers knew management would tell me who was saying whatever about me. I will not ever hold a grudge but do see some people in a different light knowing that they are backstabbers. I could never try to climb the ladder by backstabbing. I think I have what is called a conscience. I enjoy what I do and could always go back to my previous position so I guess that took away a lot of pressure. The same people that used to backstab are now trying to convince me to not put in for a transfer to a better paying position at a different facility.

I am in a very similar situation only the person who I know is saying things against me has only three weeks seniority on me and I have been made out to be incompetent and very unprofessional. I am going to leave this hospital in Minnesota and go else where where company morale is far more important than back stabbing mama’s boys!!

we teach our children they need to get ahead, but when they grow up they dont kno how. backstabbing is an ez solution - our society likes young go-gettrs. if u cant keep up u will be swept aside. learn to live by the rule of th jungle, dont hope for ez answers.

“It is sad though that long time, well respected, good workers get treated so disrespectfully with no recourse.” - Sandy, Plattsburgh, NY

I do not think it is sad. The people that go through abuse at work and stay should not complain. Slavery ended a long time ago. No one has to stay at a job that they do not like. I do not care about job security or bills. There is nothing in the world that requires a person to stay at a low paying job that treats a person like crap.

People in abusive romantic relationships are always encouraged to leave and get counseling. But people with bad jobs are told to “hang in there” or “the boss will leave sooner or later” or “a bad job is better than no job”. These are the same type of weak excuses used by women who stay in abusive relationships. Excuses will not change things. Actions will.

If you are fed up with your job, you should tell your supervisor or someone in an authority position to help you. As soon as you tell, start aggressively looking for another job. There is no reason to wait to get fired or asked to leave. People have to stop being mindless sheep for a living. Working at a bad job is no way to live.

If you stay at a bad job, you deserve everything you get.

Mostly women in our offices as men would never work for this pay or put up with this crap.

Unfortunately, the offices environments are bad. It’s a low income area so there is no “plan B” if we need to address our supervisors, so many just suck it up when we are being backstabbed or treated unfairly for fear of not having a job or further harassment if we speak up for ourselves. Many have ended up so withdrawn that they end up on meds and are mentally and physically ill.

The best we can do is find a few sympathetic workers and keep our hurt feelings to ourselves.

Unfortunately, it’s the supervisors that cause the majority of the problems and conflicts.

Usually an employee gets a lateral move with no notice, you come in one day and find out that you are going to be at a new desk, working in another office. (yes we are union, but because the job title is the same you can be moved laterally). This usually comes about because your supervisor has been complaining about you or the person that left the desk has been complained about. Keep in mind there is little to no training for these changes. They sit you there and you wing it. (I’m not kidding) I work in Medicaid and my supervisor worked with me maybe four hours over a couple of months showing me the job. “work it up and I’ll review it” How can you work something up when you have no idea where to start?

It’s like they start you out to fail so the supervisors feel somehow better and smarter than you.

If you have been ill, they are nice to your face and make comments like “what is she out for now!!” and aren’t afraid to say it where everyone signs in so all hear it.

We have a few women who have had some real family and health problems and they get labeled hypocondriacs. Or “they aren’t team players” Or “I saw… at the store I thought they were on medical leave” As if a medical leave confines you to your bed. Just because you are well enough to go out to the store to buy bread doesn’t mean that a week after surgery you are good enough to be back at work. No compassion at all. They seem to think that doctors are doing surgeries and making up illnesses for workers as a way to get out of work. It’s so bizarre.

I almost didn’t believe some of the stories until I myself was ignored by my supervisor for days when I’ve had to be out due to illness and surgery. Then I found out she told my best friend that I should have been back to work, she saw no reason I was still out since “…had that surgery and they were only out of work a couple of days”

Many of us have had enough and want to go to the superiors superior but know what will happen. It’s the good ole gal syndrome so we just shut up and can’t wait to retire.

All we want to do is do our job the best we can and be given a pat on the back once in awhile. Instead we get criticised, undertrained and backstabbed by those in authority.

It is sad though that long time, well respected, good workers get treated so disrespectfully with no recourse.

I work in marketing in a pressure-filled fast-paced office. There has been no time for long-range planning, just meeting daily deadlines. My company recently bought a smaller company and there is a lot of marketing information to transfer. I have realized that we need more database systems in place for this. Just before I left on vacation a week ago, I was going to start looking into ways for this to be efficient and effective. While I was gone my assistant went to the boss and said she was exploring how to organize the marketing collateral. I got back and she had written this long email about all her work, including this comment. I emailed my boss and copied her (big mistake) that I had realized more than 2 weeks ago we need more comprehensive organization tools. She was on the phone with our IT manager and told him she didn’t know what I was thinking, and that her email must have stimulated me to think about it. She was sitting in the next desk over and I could hear! I immediately went over and told her not to speak for me and that is not the way it happened. I don’t want her to get all the credit, but I know my boss respects me. Help! Where do I go from here?

Dear Annie,
Unfortunately this kind of situation repeats all the time every where. I was a manager and at the time my boss of 5 years have left. His replacement as Principal Investigator did not have time to prepare for it.
My Clinical Coordinator, “my right hand” and who had the highest responsibility after mine, used the opportunity to go behind my back and tell our new boss that he didn’t know what I was doing there since he was the one doing everything. He had also come to me to critizise other coworkers and gone to other coworkers in private to discuss me.
When the new boss started, I handed her the keys of my office, showed her where all the important files and told her that I was ready to conduct business the way she wanted from that day on.
She told the incident with the Clinical Coordinator after a meeting we had to discuss the researach goalls for the next few months. My only comment was: Review my work, interview everybody who has worked for me these months and draw your own conclusions. It is the only way for you to know if I have been honest here. I don’t know if she did that or not, since I never asked her about it again or confronted the Clinical Coordinator about his lies.

Time showed her that this person was a very disruptive influence on the team.

Oh Yes, It happened I found my chief quality control person faxing reports to an officer at the central office without authorization and they were EDITED to make us all look bad. Lets speak in private.. I am the one who does your evalkuation…I am the one you report to…I authorize your pay roll and salary increasess… If I find you or your people doing this again I will make sure its your last day …If they need info they can request it via normal chanals GOT
and the problem stopped..C_C_C@bellsouth.net

I survived a backstabber, but ultimately lost my job. She was hired to be my employee, although she immediately demanded to be treated as my equal. While the department head told me that I was her supervisor, he told her we were equals. She was young, cute and perky (I’m not), and my direct boss got a crush on her and drove her to and from work. She became so obnoxious that she actually refused to do work. Having chosen to deal with this professionally and gotten nowhere, I then ignored her until she quit. On her last day, she mentioned to the department head that she had kept a journal starting on the first day of her employment of everything I had said and done wrong. Only then did he realize what I had known — she was unbalanced. Unfortunately, at the same time the head could not make commitments to any one person, so most of his staff (over 80%) eventually quit and that included me.

This leads to another issue: What if your boss is a great human being on a personal level, but a lousy boss?

Rescue Rick the Grass Cut Man was dwarfed-tossed by a pack of backstabbers, including the boss. Indeed, I would not tolerate this type of behavior, especially when it involved issues with diversity. After several requests to stop the torture, I escalated the issue to level of a fair audience. I noticed that this type of bullying behavior continues to persist in the workplace. I hope that I live long enough to witness the impact of the various bullying campaigns that target children in schools. Bullying behavior creates major setbacks in the lives of decent people. Thank you.

I disagree with most. I say, “Don’t make a big deal out of it, but once you find out whose carrying the dagger, slowly, very slowly, withdraw any support for that person. If you have a chance to say something good about hem - don’t. If you have a chance to say something bad about them - don’t. If someone else says something bad about them, nod and a quiet, “Hmmmm” will do the job better then loudly confronting the issue and calling more atention to the negatives they are spewing about you. You are relegating them to a position of unimportance. People will pick up on this and follow suit, most likely. The backstabber may become even bolder and more brazen and really look the fool. Just relax and let your inner confidence tell people who you are. It works. Especially when you dismiss the comments with a laugh or a roll of the eyes. You are telling people this person doesn’t matter and they will almost always follow your lead. Plus you are quietly showing grace under fire, a quality people admire and look for in a leader. Call it “Tactical Relegation to Non-Entity.”

while backstabbers exists…don’t worry about them as they’ll always have to be behind you…. in order to stab you

In reference to an enployee bad-mouthing a Supervisor to the Supervisor’s Boss. Where I work you
address it because one has to “Follow
the Chain of Command”. If not disciplinary actions can be taken against that employee. I realize all placex of employment are not like that. But with us no matter what the
situation is the Chain Of Command Must be followed.

Backstabbing - I learned the hard way to never repeat anything heard or overheard about someone else. I call those who do gossip - “repeaters.” Many times I have heard untrue and true statements about someone who might be above, on the level with me or below but I never tell anyone. Being someone who is trusted in an organization is undeniably a sacred position of trust. People can come to you tell you a story and ask in confidence some sage advise knowing it will not be divulged to anyone. Not that a backstabber is going to come to you with malicious gossip to spread but the buck stops with you and can not go any further if others do the same. Makes for a tight knit group. And there are instructional ways to get your group to follow the rule. But I’m sure you can figure that out.

Backstabbing = a way of life

All you have to do is refer to The Golden Rule Of Work:

“The money made from the job is more important than the job itself” - © Yadgyu

never show any aggression…
make sure they can’t find any fault in your work…
try to act like the victim to show other people that the backstabber is just jealous….
with this strategy…

you maintained your good image plus the tactics used by the offender backfires….

Until very recently I was the supervisor over 7 team members. For six months, the team seemed to get along better than any other team I’ve worked with. My two best employees seemed to value my expertise and I thought we had a great team. The past six months have been extremely busy and difficult with many changes and a workload that had me working into the wee hours of the night. So, I’m sure at times I was not at the top of my game. Recently, due to the enormous workload, I asked to have my supervision responsibilities given to the two best employees I had. I thought they would be thrilled to be promoted. I’ve often fought for promotions and raises for my employees.
Now that they have become supervisors and are no longer reporting to me, they have been very rude to me. Have been backstabbing and making fun of me in front of other employees. It seems that they must have been kind to me in the past only because they were my subordinates, but now that we are on the same level, their true colors are showing. What can I do???

This is not about how we write.

Posted By Yadgyu, Harkeyville, TX : July 16, 2007 8:29 pm
After reading some of these comments, I can see that some of you all got fired because you cannot write a punctual or logical sentence. Get some grammar classes and learn how to use spellcheck.

This not about grammer its about being backstabb and to me you sound like you number one at doing so .
Those who laugh first will laugh last.
Laura West Virginia

We have a co-worker who seems to have a good heart but talks about everyone any chance she gets. It seems like she has low self esteem or something. She is continually complaining about everything around her personal and professional. Every phone call she gets off of she slams the phone, makes a huff sound and starts on a rant about how that person disgusted her insome way. She talks about people allday long and because she is a hard worker her comments seem to stick with management. She complains about people that don’t work hard enough and then when people do work hard and get promoted she complains that they got promoted. There is definately no pleasing her and it gets disheartenening. I hate going to work some mornings just because of the thought of dealing with her another whole day is depressing. I hate to complain to my boss about her because I feel it portrays me as non-professional and that I can’t just “suck it up”. Ugggggg there is no winniing!!

After reading some of these comments, I can see that some of you all got fired because you cannot write a punctual or logical sentence. Get some grammar classes and learn how to use spellcheck.

I am from Canada my name is Bonnie J. I am from Alberta .
I helped a co worker get on good with the boss by telling some little tricks how to do the job more quickly,efficiently and accurately , then he went behind my back and get his buddy another co worker to complain (mostly lies) about me about 25 complains then when I ignored it and the boss did nothing the buddy sexually harrassed me threaten me and lied about me sleeping on the job , the person I helped was very nice and even pointed out that his buddy was not doing his job if he claimed he saw me sleeping since it is impossible to see me from where he should of been , Trouble is the guy I help is now supervisor , a job that would of been mines if he did not get his buddy to complain , I have been forced to quit because he knew I figured it out that he was the instigator . Securitas security company never investigated the complain because they didn’t believe me just like John said when he threaten me . No one believe me because he made so many complains they think that is why I said he harrassed me .
They fired me but told E.I that I quit which I did not !

Natalie, most CEOs come from “line” operations (sales, manufacturing) rather than from “staff” areas like HR. The only exception I know of is finance: It’s technically a staff function but n some companies/industries is crucial enough to be a breeding ground for CEOs. I’ve never heard of an HR person becoming CEO. Has anyone else out there?

I held a position as Director of QA in several high tech companies in the bayarea. I had plentiful experiences from some of the individual member of my own team back stab me in front of my bosses. My bosses had very different reactions: 1 told me that I should find replacement to the backstabber, 1 fired backstabber for me; I was lucky to have wonderful suppotive bosses. But one boss fired me and surprised me without any warning. I was always very up front with my team and let everyone know that I will not participate any gossip, if there is an issue with another individual, my advice to them is always talk to the person and see what’s his/her reaction. You might be surprised how well people react with constructive criticism if they feel you are sincere. Unfortunately, backstabber is usually someone who is jealous, vain having or showing an ignoble lack of honor or morality. In the long run, they will shoot their own foot. In any case, do not be afraid and panic if you have done nothing wrong and always have the just in your heart. After I got fired, I ended up with a better opportunity and I was much happier.

Amazing Annie,
Is this China or United States ?
Have you heard of “Whistle blower” term ?

Consider a case where boss is at fault.
Should subordinate report this to the bosses boss ?

And if the boss believes there is nothing to hide, he should actually encourage open communication between subordinate and senior management.

Below smacks of heirarchial management. I can bet below was suggested to you by a old aged Consultant.

Quote
You should sit down with each of these team members individually and address how you want communications to work

A tough one. I think if you’re known as a fair and honest person, that reputation will precede you. The backstabber will be perceived as such. Way back when I was in the Army, another soldier in another dorm accused me in the presence of his roommates of stealing from one of the personal lockers late the night before, and that I was drunk at the time and “probably didn’t remember.”. Well, I was tipsy then, but I knew I never stole from another’s locker. My reaction was to challenge him to bring his story to the First Sergeant immediately. With hesitancy and in company of his roommates, we both went there and told our stories. The First Sergeant then interviewed us seperately. The outcome was, he was court martialled and transferred as the locker thief.
I think you have to rely on your supervisor’s intelligence to smell a rat and follow his nose.

I have found that backstabbers eventually hang themselves, even though I would prefer to do it for them. How’s that for professional.

I own a business in which I have promoted my employees to make 4x the money. I have one who is a backstabber eventhough I have made her the MOST money. I read your comments on backstabbers and have tried all you reccommened and she has become WORSE! What I make off her pays my rent which is about $1500 a month. I think it is not worth it. Am I correct?? She is an Independent Contactor. Mary Ann

Big Mama told me a long time ago where you show out at , that’s where you get it at ; but , use tact!. ( the ability to tell a person to go to hell in a fashion were they would actually enjoy the trip)

I have always made sure to address these behind-the-back comments casually and found a way to drop them into a conversation, without letting on. Also, any smart exec will be wary of a disloyal team member. If they are going after her job now, you’re next.

I had a boss who ask me as a top performer to inform her if any of my peers does something wrong or unethical, specifically two new members to our team which the boss had hired. I felt this was unethical. When I did report some unethical behavior my boss said “What do you want me to do about it?” Very sarcastically.

People talking behind your back is very common in the workplace today. Obviously you cannot control what people say about you in private. Don’t let it get to you. Document everything that happens. It’s time consuming but very helpful. Talk to your supervisor if you have a good relationship. Be aware that there is only so much they can do.

I was in situation 4 years ago where co-workers not only talked about me but complained about me to their bosses, fabricating all kinds of lies. That was the last straw. It was clearly a hopeless toxic environment. So many people were unhappy and dumping on others. I quit 2 months later and moved on. After I gave notice and another employee gave me a hard time my final week so I complained to the head honcho and he set that individual straight. In hindsight, I should gone to him for assistance earlier as he took care of the problem immediately, unlike my former supervisor.

tHE WORKER THAT BAD MOUTH HAS THAT CRONIC PROBLEM SO IT HER WORK HAS LITTLE TRUTH TO WHAT IS REAL

Nobody is perfect. Find a reason to fire them.

Fortunate enough for me I was able to transfer to another location & my co-worker still didn’t get the position.

Two comments: 1) Every place I’ve worked in over the past 20 years has had backstabbers. My considered policy is: keep your mouth shut, don’t sweat it, and let them dig their own graves. Eventually, they do.

2) Most of the comments posted here are disgracefully poorly written–so much so that some are unintelligible. How unprofessional.

Folks, let’s get back to basics. Learn to punctuate, spell, and compose coherently.

The one only person who I know of that “badmouthed” me turned out to be embezzling. Neither the “badmouthing,” nor the embezzling would not have occurred had superiors been following a more professional protocol. Meanwhile, she managed to disappear without a trace with a lot of the company’s money.

I am currently in this situation seems as though all I do is wrong the supervisor seems to believe all negative about me I try to discuss this with him and he says he doesnt want to hear anything about the dissent the co worker is causeing making comments to any and all who will listen to her

Dale E.
You are right on the money.
The boss is slim for hearing it.
And allowing it.
Do you want a job?

Are we all board?
We are ALL TALKED ABOUT,
All of the time.
This is not new.
We are all judged every day,
by people who,
most of the time
dont matter.
Its your own fault
if people dont like you.

Backstabbing can be a sign of varying levels of mental disorders also. Getting the concern out in the air is the way to sort the healthy adult team players from those who need help or our concern. I had a backstabbing supervisor at Home Depot in the Nardelli days. Going to work required tranquilizers until she was gone!

Every work place has them. People with low self esteem and no self confidence. They are not to be catered to like infants. This is the real world and it’s tough out there! Our female problem finds something to whine about even if she’s complimented so when I heard she was bad mouthing me I confronted her flat out. She, of course, denied everything. I didn’t let her off the hook and told her not to disrespect the mama that raised her. “If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.” People can’t continue bad habits if they feel it’s a direct reflection on the people they love. If they don’t respect the people who raised them I’ve confronted them in front of the boss. Sorry, I’m not a “beat around the bush” type. Just throw the chips out there and let them fall where they may. If it comes down to it I was looking for a job when I found that one.

I don’t see why anyone reports issues to the upper management or HR are necessarily “backstabbers”. It all depends on the circumstances.

I’ve had a similar experience. The guy had little ability when it came to doing his job and would belittle others to make himself look better in the eyes of our boss. I brought this to the attention of our boss during a review. My boss agreed with me but since he was a wimp himself did nothing to change the situation. Didn’t want to make waves in order to protect his own butt. This was at one of the fortune 500 companies. I retired in 91 but to this day it still bothers me.

This was in property management

The backstabber in my company first undermined my authority, then flirted with the boss and became his new girlfriend (both married to other people) and was promoted to equal to my position as property manager.

She shows up to staff meetings in see through blouses, talks in baby talk (not her natural voice), announces she did nothing on the list, refuses to learn, draws the contour of her hand rather than take notes and interupts me to make comments about the color of paper or a pen she had on her. She is a new immigrant who never finished the 7th grade and very ambitious wanting to do my tasks. Thank God for little miracles. Once I got over the shock and insult I felt, I gave her what she asked for.

Soooo I gave all of the tasks that require spending half your paycheck on gas( basically being a glorified runner), answering the never ending streams of cell phone calls, working 80 hour weeks for 40 hour pay. Anytime there is a task that requires fighting traffic in the hot sun…I send her way!

I handle all of the computer work (from home), logistical planning and consulting now working 20 hours a week for 40 hour pay.

And this gives me time to update my resume and look for another job.

I used to put in 60 to 80 hours a week myself. Now, I just distance myself from the chaos.

The boss has learned she turns off the phone, underachieves, doesn’t care much and runs the place like a slum, so he has had to take up more of the slack…good for him!

There’s enough work to go around!

; )

Going above your supervisor to the next level of management is a smart way to get ahead if you are a top performer. Your supervisor will try to hold on to you as long as possible and you have a better chance of advancing by negotiating with senior management. (i.e. If I increase sales by 50% in my region over the next year, can I be a VP and have the other half of the country?) As a supervisor, don’t get upset with your top performers when they do this because they will be running the company in the near future. By the way, getting an extra 2% bonus increase will never be as appreciated as helping them take the next step up the ladder where the rewards are much
more interesting.

I do not want to feel like a fraud; after reading most of the postings, I get the impression that most of the individuals who have posted their experiences on the job are university educated professionals. I have been in clerical jobs most of my life, and currently I am employed in a call center (most call centers have decent benefits). The corporate environment/office environment can be extremely challenging in terms of “office politics,backstabbing,viscious gossip,and envy. Your co-workers are not your “best friends”, their not your confidants; if you have career aspirations-function on the job accordingly. I have made certain observations over the years, most victims of backstabbing,gave the the backstabber the amunition; never take part in the “oh our lunch breaks are too short, they should pay us more,oh they made me work overtime again, oh that manager is not doing her job properly”, never say “anything negative” about upper management ( this should be a rule carved out in stone). You have to put yourself in a position that if someone personally attacks you or your reputation, that you are in a position to fight back….in an office environment you have to discreetly and diplomatically “go for the jugular”. I have a nice little list of what to look out for: 1: happy hour-after work parties (where you think what your saying is off the record),remember your colleagues are trashing another employee or a manager/supervisor/ceo: they can use the same opportunity to trash you too. #2..You’ll notice that at every office picnic/party/or catered event ; the same individuals who find every opportunity to trash company management and policies, are always the ones stuffing their faces,and loading up on the company booze. #3 Watch out for the person who never has anything good to say about” anyone” who has just been recently been promoted. # 4..Psychological game players, indivuals who take it upon themselves to use fear on those who are easily intimidated “the boss doesn’t want to see this mistake/you don’t want to be fired do you?…oh I won’t tell”;”oh they’re going to be letting a lot of people go,maybe I can put in a good word for you”(most lower level employees are not privy to what decisions are made or not made in the corporate boardroom/golf courses/private jet/or ceo’s office;once you or any third parties do not have access to this sphere…no one is any position to decide who will be fired or not;or if another colleague has a future with the company or not .5# You’re surpassing your sales quotas,you’re doing a lot of overtime ( you have just decided that for now,you need your current job in order to :pay of debts,save up enough money to go back to school,or just find a new opportunity altogether.),one of your colleagues asks you why your doing overtime ” your just working to pay taxes”,” she thinks she’s going to get rich”,basically discussing what is none of their business ……………………………………………………………Survival tips: 1# Do not confide any personal information with any of your colleagues at work . 2# Explain to your manager that you will not tolerate certain types of behaviour;if there is an issue, you would like to know immediately.3# set the tone from ” day 1″;create and evironment where someone will have to “think twice” . 4#
Avoid letting any of your colleagues “keep secrets”(performance related)for you…just come clean with your manager.5#Never say anything negative about anybody;you never know, the person that you trashed may eventually be promoted to supervisor( a supervisor of your department).
6#performance:sales quotas,projects that increase revenues/customer base. Most managers are evaluated on the performance of their departments; once a member of their team “over excels” in the areas of revenue generation-namely sales…no manager/supervisor/ceo/ will give a “backstabber” the time of day.

I had a co-worker backstab me by going to Human Resources and make a complaint against me that I was creating a hostile work environment. She got one of her fellow complainers on the team to co-complain with her.

Just to let you know I work for a major secondary lender, and our HR is basically its own entity within the company. At the time, I was doing QC work and she was my biggest headache. I was lucky, however, my boss was able to quash and I didn’t lose my job. Unfortuantely, she also kept her job and is my teammate to this day. However, I have a new boss and hopefully at some point he will realize that she is incompetant or I will get promoted out of my unit.

I guess I was lucky.

First, you have to be sure of what your ambitious subordinate said to your boss, if anything. The snitch had some reason for telling you about the backstabbing, so assume there may more or less to the story.

If you find out that you are being backstabbed by a subordinate, I would get rid of him/her. The reason would not be for self-preservation, but for the preservation of the team. A backstabber is poison to a team - selfish and willing to break others or sacrifice team goals for self-promotion.

For the sake of the team, it is your responsibility to get rid of the toxic few. Let them go somewhere else and create distrust, disloyalty, and havoc.

Good luck.

Good management has two choices: tell the malcontent to address his or her compliants directly and not engage in gossip, or call the malcontent and the accused into the same room and get the thing over with. If management doesn’t take some action to cure the gossip problem, then management is likely using the malcontent to its own purposes and that bodes ill for you. Assess the situation and determine if you can ride out current management. If not depart while you can do so in good order and with your reputation intact. Otherwise, there’ll be hell to pay.

SEEK ADVICE! By starting with your manager! Go to him/her and ask them for their sagely advice with dealing with a team morale issue — ask them how THEY would handle petty in-fighting and gossip. It sends a couple of clear signals, one to the boss.

NEXT: Pull the offender aside, and ask them the same question — it gives the impression that you value their opinion, as well as establishes a basis for determining how much of a hypocrite they are.

In the end your message will be delivered.

I’m still not sure what to do in my situation… A co-worker, 20 years younger - male and I had a close almost mother/son relationship. We confided in oneanother constantly and I protected him from himself on several occasions. It came time for my annual review; all went well until just as I was about to leave my bosses office, she states: oh there’s on other thing… yikes, what is that all about. Apparently, my friend has been brown nosing the boss and shared with her that I had been inappropriate and that I call him my cabana boy… absolutely a lie… wouldn’t use that term, wasn’t even familiar with it before now… my boss cautioned me and said that I’m lucky he hasn’t filed a sexual harrassment suit against me. Needless to say, I no longer confide, trust or barely speak to my former friend. Did he actually go to my boss and say this? Did he say it in jest? Is she using this opportunity to “manage” me and get make me paranoid??? I have no idea. If anyone has any suggestions, I sure would appreciate it!

In my case the backstabber was a protege of the company’s boss. I was in charge of an office several hundred miles away from the headquarters. The backstabber was at the head office, tasked to supervise some aspects of our remote operation, and was meeting with the boss almost daily - keeping busy “backseat driving” our remote office way outside the limits of his responsibilities. Meanwhile, the boss made it clear that he did not want to hear from me any negative comments about his protege. So I kept quiet, minded my work, and paid attention only to the backstabbers most public moves. At some point the backstabber lost his cool, blew his top at the whole office. I asked the backstabber’s supervisor to pull the guy off our team - which now the supoervisor could justify. Next the backstabber checked in with a nervous breakdown and we have not heard from him since. However, it took 2 years to get the man to leave us in peace.

I don’t think I agree with Annie’s advice. Many offices have an open door policy, in which problems can be discussed with any member of management without going through the traditional lines of communication.

I would suggest that this person approach her boss and simply ask if he/she is performing as required or desired. There’s no need for an expedited review when simply talking with a boss may easily fix the problem. Then, if there is an issue with work performance, the person could step up to the task and show improvement before the next review.

This one is good- The guy backstabbed his entire support team in order to get “off the phones” and into a cushy desk job behind the double doors of another division. In doing so, he needed to basically prove we were given too much free time and that our group could work in a more productive manner, with-surprise- himself as lead. In doing this task, he snooped on everyones computer, but them made his biggest fault- When printing the memo to what he thought was his printer near his desk he inadvertently sent it to the main printer network of the group, where it was quickly photocopied and passed out onto everybody’s desk. He still got a promotion, but not the job of manager. He didnt step foot in our support room for 6-7 months. Hahaha

If your boss is worth his/her salt, and the rumors being spread about you are untrue, then don’t spend too much time worrying about this. Your boss should be experienced enough to recognize and reward performance. In short, you should of course raise your concerns with your boss, but after that do your job to the best of your ability. Don’t focus on the “noise”, and do not sink to the level of others with less moral character.

Sounds like work place bullying to me. I agree with some of the posts that upper management will or should frown on the backstabber but, if they don’t, and they tend to side with the backstabber then it may be time to look for another job. Life is too short.

I have survived many a backstabbing over the years. This author does make some good points but I would add that just about all stabbers will be found out sooner or later. When they do their dirty work and other people see it, their own integrity comes into question by all: “What is this person saying about me?”
The good employee does not get fired by a backstabber; a good employee gets fired by bad managers. The proof of your work is your work; show this up front and the good supervision will see it over any backstabber.

It depends on who the boss is. This situation is typical of corporate life and everyone in mid-management will have to deal with it.

1. If the boss is open, I’d discuss this matter with him/her directly.

2. I would have confronted the person
directly behind closed door.

3. I think talking it over with the group it fine but back stabbers are not
the kind of people who would adhere to
the supervisor’s directive. They are out for themselves.

Steps to resolve this:

#1 - Find out what was said to whom and when. Speak to the boss, backstabber, and co-workers.
#2 - Address the issue: is there a problem with your work? Is there a team loyalty problem with the back stabber? Is your boss incompetent?
#3 - Respond. Depending upon #2, you should improve your work product, coach and/or correct your subordinate and team, help your boss succeed, speak to HR, look for other opportunities.

How do you know the info you received from the person that reports to you is accurate? Does that person have an ax to grind with THAT subordinate of yours, or YOU? going ot he boss for early evaluation seems fishy and could be counter productive, as if you had something to worry about. Confront the employee in a nice but firm manner.

John

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. Don’t Forget to keep your 1-on-1’s with your subordinates. If you are running a smooth operation, your manager is not going to fix something that is not broken.

My 1st question is, who reported this situation to you and what was thier motive,did this incident happen as reported? If it is valid, then as the head of the “team ” you have some control, use that. The choices are ‘keeping your enemies close’ or shutting this person out of the most intricate parts of the project. Backstabbing will not go away, but there are ways to distance yourself from troublemakers. Then keep an eye on the person accused of backstabbing, and the person who told you, you may find a problem between those individuals.
A team review is a good idea and lay it on the table that your aware of ’some less than professional behavior, and it makes the entire team look bad’. You might also remind the members of the team that while they are judged as a team, there are individual reviews also and that each persons conduct and productivity is spotlighted.
In the meantime, do your job , do it well, and ask yourself if there was any validity in what was supposedly said about you. If you have not become lax in your job, then don’t stress over this, if you can see where you might have gotten a little too comfortable in your job, shape up !
Reality is , we all deal with this kind of behavior to some extent. In my experience, troublemakers get weeded out quickly .

Welcome to the real world. Backstabbing is a big part of office politics. It is an issue that should not be ignored. There are ways of approaching and avoiding it, as suggested by the article. Use it. There are also multiple books on how to ‘Deal with Difficult Behavior,’ read it.
The bottom line is this, if you are under a leadership where backstabbing and other negative behavior is tolerated, then ask yourself if that is the environment that you thrive in or avoid. If your one that thrives in that environment, then stay. If not, get out! There are jobs out there that shares your work culture, you just have to find it.
You are most productive when your focus is your task at work not the flying daggers that are constantly aiming at your back.

We have an open-door policy with management at work and two of our team members called the big boss in to discuss our team leader and her lack of effectiveness. He listened and is following up but I am troubled by the action these two took. I think there must have been another way to do it without going behind her back but I do not know the answer.

The two key questions are:
Is this coming from one person or is there a coup in the works; and
What is your relationship with your boss?

The words, “what I thought was a pretty strong, cohesive team,” are very revealing. Often we think we know the people who report to us and that everyone is playing nicely. Unfortunately, this is often not the case. The world is full of far too many climbers who will do anything to get ahead. Just because you work hard and are a great asset does not ensure career success. If the subordinate is backstabbing you with the boss, be assured he/she is doing this with your other “team” members. The team may soon (if it has not already) turn into a mob if you are not careful.

A good boss would have sent the disgruntled employee back to you to discuss the concerns, which is following proper protocol. Apparently this did not happen here since it was revealed by another employee. That is really telling. Examine your relationship with the boss. If he/she is not following protocol, not supportive of you or not willing to address how to deal with the unhappy employee together with you, then move on. I did.

In most office environments, the best thing to do will be to ignore office gossip and focus on doing the best work possible. The typical boss does not appreciate being approached by underlings with complaints about co-workers unless: (1) the complaints relate to serious problems that potentially affect the workplace, or (2) the boss is bored and has nothing better to do than gossip with subordinates. Because most bosses are busy people, employees who complain upstairs about co-workers had better have a good reason for doing so, or else they are likely to be tagged as complainers. This is a career-ruing label if ever there was one. Let complainers hoist themselves on their own pitards. Don’t be drawn into their game.

As to the specific situation addressed in the article, I guess my first question would be, who cares if one of your employees tells your boss that she could perform your job better than you can? If your work is above reproach, it should speak for itself. Is your boss so incompetent that he or she isn’t capable of judging your performance on his or her own? Regardless, isn’t your boss smart enough to recognize that employees who criticize their co-workers often have self-serving motives for doing so? If your boss is such an idiot that he or she can’t spot raw self-promotion, then your job isn’t secure anyway and never will be. This leads me to one of my principal workplace maxims: Never work for an idiot. Trust me, don’t do it. Or, if you have no choice, make it a temporary situation and work hard to find another position as soon as possible.

Talking about “back channel” communication, I don’t see front channels are available at many workplaces. I used to work for a large organization, and I once criticized my boss for her way of doing her job out of my genuine interest in helping her to do a better job. As a result, she bad mouthed about my job performance and fired me. I know she fired me because my other team members liked to work with me and she was also afraid that she would be found out as grossly incompetent and overbearing. I discussed her issues with HR on my departure and I was told not to fight back because her boss will give her a promotion so that she will have a highest rank among all managers at the office. So everyone is either afraid of her or tries to avoid her except for me who acted as an idiot. I was also told that it was not up to me to criticize my boss, and that was her boss’s job. But she was very good in covering up her incompetence and her boss didn’t seem to know what was going on. It seems to me a big joke that she got promoted. Shall I point it out to her boss that she makes her boss look like a fool? No, I’ve learned my precious lessons indeed and I don’t want to work at a place like that anyway. But still, I want to know for a subordinate who is a professional, how would he or she deal with such a pity, vindictive boss?

How about if you are the one that wants to badmouth someone, but have no one to badmouth to? This executive person runs the financials in a small organization and also runs one division. The other division has a CEO and shares this person to run the financials. The CEO does nothing… The financial person pretty much has to do everything for both divisions. all the employees know it and complain but no one feels they can do anything. what to do? Good to be king? untouchable? Talk to the board of directors? They think he is doing a wonderful job cause the financial person is handling everything!

I had this go on for many years without my knowledge and I couldn’t figure out why management was so put off on me. The previous management looked very positively on me and I had top evaluations but the new management wouldn’t even look at me. I increased productivity and enhanced our business processes but I was told that I had problems with budgeting my time when I was doing double and triple the work of others. Then I found out that one employee in patricular was bad mouthing me and taking credit for my work. When I tried to go to management to refute the person I was told that management doesn’t get into gossip but they already had, to my downfall. That same person later fouled up two large projects and again blamed his failures on me and he was promoted ahead of me and then I got to see what kind of work he really did. It was worse than a first year person in our shop and he got promoted. I found out we had another person that was bucking for a promotion and he would start the water cooler talk and if anyone agreed with him on anything negative about the boss, the boss found out about it in no time flat but he conveniently forgot to mention that it was because HE was spreading the rumors. After I left, the managment that spent so much time “keeping me in my place” retired. They’ve ruined my career and I am now trying to start again in another organization. Lies and rumors do hurt. Our organization went from being the best in the region to being dismantled as unnecessary.

It is Manager’s duty to figure out, there is nothing you can do. If you got impacted by bad mouth then probably you have a weak manager. If manager believes in bad mouthing then there are equal chances he/she will believe yours bad mouth too… simple.
Friends don’t expect quick justice in this world.

I had a person who works for me do this to me. We have even been friends outside of work so it really hurts. I was told how my attitude is bad and people don’t want to work for me and so on. I know this person is looking to move forward in this company and my position is the next in step. The meeting went so bad with my team and my supervisor that I was in tears. I was told attorneys here felt the same way. A month has gone by and I have been told how much I have improved since the meeting. The kicker is I changed nothing. Then it comes out when speaking to a few others that they had no idea and did not say the things I was told they did. See, this person who works for me wants my job and my supervisor was angry with me over something so this is what happened. I almost quit and then decided it was not worth losing a great job because a few others are not happy.

Welcome to the competitive business world. Do you job and do it the best you can. If you lose it, I’m sure it’s not due to backstabbing and a simple claim that someone can do the job better. Performance is everything and it sounds like that is what you are worried about.

This is a simple case. Get rid of the employee. The employee will continue to attempt to get ahead by any means necessary. Dig a hole for the employee and wait for them to step in - then get rid of them. Disloyalty must not be rewarded. If you do, it help this employee believe that they can succeed by this method versus by results.

All good canon fodder. What to do may weigh more heavily on the kind of environment you want to work in. From my perspective, you need to be true to yourself, and a direct fact finding mission would be my required response. Discuss your concerns about team cohesiveness with your boss and let that conversation guide you. What if the subordinate did say that he/she could do a better job then you. If that is all that was said, it could have been an honest opinion and not back stabbing. If you don’t face this head on what will work be like in the future? If the environment is bad enough that the subordinate is likely to succeed then you are better off not investing anymore time there.

First, the real issue. Is the subordinate telling the truth? Is the Manager incompetent? If not, there still is no one answer. Is the company a small or large operation? Family run or not? I have been managing staff since I was in my teens and I am now in my 50’s. Bottom line, I have learned many years ago a cliche that I live my personal as well as business life by: “Perception is MORE than reality”. In this case the perception that matters is the Manager’s Superior. If he/she believes what the subordinate is spouting (believe me, they are spreading this information to any and all that they feel will have a sympathetic ear) then the Manager had better keep their mouth shut and update their Monster resume! If the rumors have gotten back to the Manager then it is now common office gossip and the Manager’s superior condones the rumor. Use “personal time” to schedule interviews. It is ALWAYS easier to find a job from a position where you still have a job. To help you keep your tongue tempered, think about how good it will feel to give your notice that you are leaving for a BETTER position in two weeks. Let your actions speak, not your temper. NEVER quit a job without having another one lined up. Rule number one is that you NEVER bad mouth your last employer. So, if you quit, what will you use as the reason you will use for leaving your last position. Lastly, if the Manager’s Supervisor had the confidence of the Supervisor, then he/she would have been the one to let the Manager know the rumor. Many factors could be in play. Bad timing (mistake fresh in the Supervisor’s mind), the good performing rumor spreader will work for much less pay, company wide downsizing and they are cutting middle management, etc.

One, this is all in the hands of your boss. I will only work for a boss who thinks the best of his employees and that is what I model as well. So if an employee comes to be about one of my suborindates, I would question the motive straight out-especially if the employee being “discussed” has a good track record. In my book, good employees are hard to find and keep. However, I realize that many people are really busy and it is hard to stay on top of all staff issues especially if you have a staff of any size.

One thing that i learned while i was in the military was to keep a journal. The reason that this is so important is because if you are trying to defend your case against anything you need to have it logged in. Take down the name, time, place, date & what you remember from the conversation or event. With this you can dispute what is going on and whether or not it’s fact or fiction. Also if it has to go to court you can track the process of the mis-doings and how it played out so you can paint a clear picture for anyone that needs to know.

Annie,

Your article left out a several crital elements …….. the employee may have gone around their manager because the manager wasn’t effective at establishing a cohesive team and/or demonstrates behavior that warranted this type of “back-stabbing”. The availability to give direct feedback to your manager’s manager is vital, and you should have looked at this from the employee perspective as well ……………

How do we know that the subordinate of “vexed and perplexed” who reported the incident didn’t make it up to create discord between the boss and her best report?

I’ve read many of the comments regarding bad-mouthers at work. I have to say that many of these comments are poorly written which reflects poorly on you. If you want to be respected and taken seriously in your work, you better know how to communicate well in both a verbal and written manner. If your excuse is that you type poorly or you’re using your Blackberry - think again. No excuses.

On the contrary, sometimes or many times a subordinate is in fact doing a better job than his or her boss and is more capable. As a subordinate, he or she may have no formal channel to communicate this fact and ever be able to criticize his or her boss’s job. Some bosses think they’re the best, and they have all the power to call the meetings and to rule over their subordinates. And this really disgusts me.

As the CEO of an Internet company for the pass ten years, this type of problem does occur. The comments are always taken seriously as well the reputation of both the informer and the person being informed on.

I agree with the comment in the article which states not to ignore what has happened and to make sure proper channels are used in the future. As for the informer, they better be right with their comments or they can be placed on a short list also.

ChristiaNet.com

Tough situation. I had the same thing go on for two years. This female subordinate was very good at dropping comments that undermined what I was doing, and she aimed them at my boss who fancies himself attractive to women. In the beginning he would ask me about anonomous tips he had heard. Later he would refute what I would say by claiming that where there was smoke, there was fire. I waited her out and she finally started making broader claims against others, until she finally defiled my boss’ pet employee. Then he saw the light and convinced her to leave (after that she called OSHA on us and then reported one of our Muslim employees to the Department of Homeland Security - which came to nothing). Bill McClainThere’s no advice that will work in all situations. I would advise that you stay positive. Keep the communications open. These are the office bullies and they just cant feel good about themselves unless they are pulling someone else down.

At first brush, I am suspicious of the individual relaying the message. What is her motive? Is she telling the truth? On the other hand, I have co-workers and associates back stabbing me all the time, making negative comments about my work. The one thing that saves me is my work….I do a good job and meet deadlines. Jealousy and gossip are signs of success!

Perhaps the person who shared this rumor with you is jealous of your so-called “top performer” who received the bigger raise. Maybe this person is lying to you as part of a smear campaign against the other guy. Consider that possibility before changing your opinion of your “top-performer.”

Let her know in an indirect way that you know and that she better watch her ass. Let her spend her days terrified she will do something wrong and get canned. You are still her boss and if she wants to rekindel this relationship, make her work hard at it. Eventually she will screw up and let her know you will be watching.

Obviously you are a good trainer if you have trained your subordinate so well that she can do your job. Use this as your bragging point. Let your boss know how well she is doing and that thanks to your forsight, things run smoothly when you are on vacation, out sick, etc. If there is any room for advancement between your job and hers, bring up the subject of promotion. You will be the hero and it is all your idea, not anyone elses.

You are never going to protect your job by stifling communication from your subordinates to your boss, and you are not the manager because it says so on your card. You must actively coach your team and not be afraid of professional criticism, or new ideas. Have a reverse review where your subordinates get to review you. If good and viable ideas come from anyone, I don’t care if it’s the janitor, do not be afraid to recognize it, give credit for it and move to its implementation.

Listen to your top performer. If that person has a good idea or new strategy evaluate it open-mindedly. If you think it will work, try it. This is the way to build trust. You have to be a person that people can trust to have trust with your subordinates.

People want a career plan, and embrace people who may want your job someday. That is natural and a good thing. Teach and show them the steps they need to continue their career. Don’t worry; your career will advance this way too.

The right thing to do is to give your best to your job and work hard everyday. If you get caught up in the politics, your performance will suffer as well as your reputation.

If productivity can’t save your current position, it can help get you your next one.

I have learned through sad experience that some individuals are just constant complainers and vicious allies. In a previous supervisory role I had two such employees that were constantly going around me in an effort to see me fired. I was brought in from another department to manage these employees and thus had a hurdle to overcome out of the gate. They naturally assumed that they were better qualified to lead the department and sought out opportunities to exploit my short-comings. I found that the best approach I could take was to be very upfront with my supervisor and maintain a constant communication stream with said supervisor. As issues would arise that I knew would be routed to my supervisor, I made certain that I mentioned it as well, thus ensuring that my side was submitted.

I agree with Amy of Eugene, OR. To sit everyone down and telling them what type of behavior is/is not tolerated IS a mistake. All I could think while reading that was what I would have been thinking (as an innocent bystander) as the boss said that. Instead of one back-stabber, I would think the boss would quickly have a whole group of nervous, distrustful employees…and a backstabber stirring up even more trouble than ever. I say give the person the benefit of the doubt (considering the possibility that the person who told you might be simply smearing your best worker); do your job to the best of your ability; encourage your employees to do the same; and have faith that your boss will recognize slime when/if he sees it.

I had the same situation happen to me. Of course my boss knew better and ignored him but the problem is with the employee and needed to be addressed. I confronted him and discussed with him why he was of that opinion. He stated that he had been passed over for promotion and was upset. He felt as though he was not getting the recognition he deserved. He knew he could have done a really good job in my position. He was a stellar employee and I explained that I wanted to keep him and that this was not helping his situation and it actually made him appear to be a trouble maker. He eventually moved on to another organization seeking a different opportunity but I believe that all actions are for a reason and the manager needs to understand their subordinates. I have found that passive agressives are common in the workplace. The best way to handle them is confront them. Then it is no longer passive. I do however believe in an open door policy where an employee should be able to voice their opinion to any member of management. There are some really crumby managers out there that are protected by closed communications. That is why 180 degree reviews were invented.

If yoiu try hard and successfully to get an employee a bonus, and then anotrher of your people says that the one who got the bonus is slagging you off to the boss, the first thing to think of is that obviously the person is lying about one of your favourites.

Then also consider that if you are a normal decent boss, it is to be expected that the best your people will think is that you are not too bad, and all of them would say they could do better than you.

I once had a subordinate badmouthing me to my boss. I found out about it when my boss wrote me up and gave me a counseling session regarding things that weren’t even true, without having checked her facts first! I was so upset and felt so strongly that I couldn’t trust either one of them, that I quit the company.

After I left, the same subordinate did the same thing to her next two managers, who also quit or changed positions so as not to have to deal with this situation - the third manager after myself was finally able to get rid of the toxic subordinate.

I wouldn’t report it. I did once and all I got was a pink slip and told to hit the road. Most compaines think their office always smell of roses. They don’t want anyone to tell them that something is not right.

I hate to say it, 20 years experience says, it’s better to either put up or play their game. Face it, it’s a dog eat dog world. Everyone wants to climb the corporate ladder, some do it dirty and that’s a fact of life.

In our competitive world, it isn’t surprising that people are looking for any way for a leg up. However, the third piece of advice: sitting everyone down and telling them what type of behavior is/is not tolerated is a mistake. Why punish the entire unit over a rumor. If there is an issue with one person, then take it up with that person. No point wasting everyone’s time and bringing them all into the rumor realm. More importantly it demonstrates a lack of trust. The best way to get support and trust from your team is to trust them first. Risk that and you could lose it from everyone.

The similar situation occured 2 months ago in our office. The two of my colleage went to the boss and badmouthed about me. The one of these two colleagues is very senior and is most trusted by boss. The boss took this up and told me that He himself and the other two in the office thinks so-and-so. I denied the charges for which the boss told me to personally cofirm with other colleagues of other groups, I did so and came to know that it was all cooked up by these two colleagues in our office. I went and told boss that this is all cooked up and I am really surprised that how he being so senior could believe. I told him that since its an attempt to assasinate my character, repute and also the twos have played with my private life, I need an apology letter from them and him too. For this he told that an apology letter is out of question and he still believes that the charges put on me are correct by two colleagues and himself (as he became party with them and no more a mediater). I am really surprised to learn; how the jealous colleagues can make up the stories and the weak-eared boss just not believe them but also buys it and represent their thoughts as his own. I am refereing to a boss who is almost 82year of age and has over 55year experience in his field of expertise and well renouned in all over the world for his profession, still blinded by politics.

it happened to me a couple of years ago.
the difference is, my boss told me what
happened and asked me for my input. i
asked if what came from the badmouther
was consistent with her impression and
my boss said no. then i commented that
i was very suprised by what had been
said, for it wasn’t true. i also said
that i wondered what motivated the bad-
mouther and asked my boss to help me
identify things i could do better to
avoid such “misunderstanding” in the
future.

in the mean time, i continue to greet
the badmouther as warmly as ever when
we cross path. i’m extremely careful
around this person, but there’s no
need for him to know what i know.

THE DIRECT APPROACH HAS ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME. GO RIGHT TO THE BOSS AND ASK IF HE HAS HEARD OF ANY COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOU. THEN… TAKE CARE OF THE PROBLEM STRAIGHT ON.

We had a similar situation with a bank that I’m familiar with. A subordinate was able to become very good friends with the manager. Eventually, she was let go.

Since she was more qualified, she sued the company and won. His performance has been floundering.

Since this appears to be from casual conversations, ask your boss out for lunch or happy hour just the two of you.

Even if you don’t have the best relationship with your boss, conversations in a relaxed atmosphere outside of work seem to be more effective and easier.

Good luck.

I had a person back stab me and I lost my job. Today, it was the best thing that happen to me. I took it and learned from it. Today, that person is working more than ever and is very unhappy. That is his problem. Today, I work but not very hard, just smarter.

I agree that given the situation this writer needs to talk to their supervisor immediately. Like now! Taking for granted that the supervisor will “just know” they are doing a good job, could be a death blow. The writer should lay their cards on the table (this is an unacceptable situation) and see how the supervisor responds. Based on his/her response, the writer will know at the end of the meeting if they should begin getting their resume in order.

Also, and maybe just as important, if the meeting goes well and the supervisor extends his/her support, they should both agree on how to handle the backstabbing subordinate. Perhaps some type of transfer should be worked out for the subordinate in the immediate future. Since you’ll never be able to completely trust this person again, it might be better for everyone in the long run. Having to manage a staff is hard enough without having to worry about one person destroying team unity every day. Handling that issue should outweigh the fact that the subordinate is the teams best worker.

I can tell you first-hand that just doing your job to the best of your ability is not enough. I was mgr of a small group for several years. My top “lieutenant” was a great worker and, I thought, a good friend. I never saw the truck coming — she had me so convinced. But she had been working on my boss, running in constantly dropping little comments about how much better she was. I was demoted and she not only got my job, but the promotion I was in line for. By all means, discuss the situation with you boss. If you’re on close enough terms to discuss it over lunch, all the better. But don’t put it off — do it asap.

I work for a multinational retail giant here in New York. I joined this company in late 2003 and within two years was promoted to run the biggest department of the organization. Not to mentione I have to deal with my collegue managers criticism but also they were badmouthing about me to my co-workers. I have 12 direct reports and at one point most of them seem to dislike me. My assistance manager was back stabbing me and planting the seed against me. And my boss at that time was also don’t like me. About 8 months ago I had the new boss and she seems to like my